It’s been hard to know what to say, or what to write. But all I can think about are their last words, “I’m not mad at you” and “Are you okay?” and the little boy in the blue bunny hat…
On January 7, 2026, she said, “I’m not mad at you.”
He said, “Fucking bitch” after he executed her.
She said, “I’m not mad at you.”
Doing the job the agent should do: de-escalation.
She said, “I’m not mad at you.”
He left her overflowing glovebox of stuffed animals splattered in blood.
She said, “I’m not mad at you.”
They called her a “domestic terrorist”.
She said, “I’m not mad at you.”
They lied about why she was there, who she was, and what she did.
On January 24, 2026, he asked, “Are you okay?”
They violently shoved a woman to the ground.
He asked, “Are you okay?”
They pepper sprayed their faces, as he tried to protect her.
He asked, “Are you okay?” looking out for his neighbors.
They piled on top of him and executed him in the street.
He asked, “Are you okay?”
They fired more shots into his lifeless body.
He asked, “Are you okay?”
They called him a “domestic terrorist”, too.
He asked, “Are you okay?”
They lied about why he was there, who he was, and what he did.
She said, “I’m not mad at you.”
Her partner said, “We had whistles, they had guns.”
He said, “Are you okay?”
His parents said, “Please get the truth out about our son.”
He asked, “Are you okay?”
They said, “It’s like Call of Duty! So cool, huh?”
He stood between fascist, violent thugs, trying to protect her. He said, “Don’t touch her.” Healthy masculinity.
They shoved her to the ground and murdered him in sloppy, trigger happy, cowardice chaos thuggery. Toxic masculinity.
“I’m not mad at you.”
She could have been me; she could have been you. What she did is something I would do.
“Are you okay?”
He could have been me; he could have been you. What he did is something my partner would do.
On January 20, 2026, a 5 year old boy in a blue bunny hat stood in the cold, his little face riddled with fear.
They used him as bait.
A little boy in a blue bunny hat
An empty cubby at his school.
A little boy in a blue bunny hat. 3,800 children kidnapped in 2025.
No doubt there are more, those in prisons and covert encampments, those who weren’t on video. Imagine what’s happening to them.
A little boy in a blue bunny hat.
The system that exploits a child, that kidnaps children, must be dismantled.
A little boy in a blue bunny hat.
He could have been my child, he could have been yours. Like Baldwin said, “The children are always ours.”
Kieth Porter. Renee Good. Alex Pretti. Heber Sanchez Dominguez. Victor Manuel Diaz. Parady La. Luis Beltran Yanez-Cruz. Luis Gustavo Unez Caceres. Geraldo Lunas Campos. Killed by federal agents in 2026.
All of whom deserve remembrance and justice, and those before them in 2025, and those before them in years, decades, and generations past who suffered the same terror of oppression and tyranny at the cowardly hands of empire and police brutality.
“I’m not mad at you.” “Are you okay?”
They gaslight us. They expect us to believe their lies, and not our eyes.
“I’m not mad at you.” “Are you okay?” Jesus would say and ask the same.
When they (Stephen Miller and ilk) claim “plenary authority” and “total immunity” we should believe what they say. Empire would say the same.
But we remember, that even as those in power impose violence, oppression, death, lies and havoc, the love of Jesus is the ultimate authority, not the authoritarians.
“I’m not mad at you.” “Are you okay?”
Phrases we carry with us in resistance, in community, and in Christ, blowing whistles, and caring for each other.
“I’m not mad at you.” “Are you okay?”
On the right side of history and justice, are those who stood innocently in their winter hats, who wore Spiderman back packs, the deported, the detained and separated, the vanished, the isolated who fear leaving their homes, those who say, “I can’t breathe”, those who blow the breath of life and alert through whistles of warning, those everyday people refusing to do nothing, refusing to stay silent, those using their privilege, education, and experience to do what’s right, those banging their drums, singing songs of peace, shouting words of righteous anger, arranging rides, writing prayers, donning their stoles in solidarity, writing poetry, lighting candles, calling out the blasphemy of Christian Nationalism and white supremacy, the anti-racist, those who counter the disinformation, those wearing keffiyahs, making phone calls and writing letters, those donating their money, sharing political posts, those who see the cult of Tr*mpism for what it is, or finally do, those who clog the system, who boycott the corporate, who build, who disrupt, who strategize, who share their resources, who coordinate, people fighting for freedom here, and in so many places around the globe, the antifascists with phones, the marchers, the vigil attenders, those who protect trans people, the decent humans who love their neighbor and welcome the immigrant, those who shout, “Chinga La Migra!” Those who call out the xenophobia, those who show up with medicine, food, water, art, and care, with their bodies, minds, and hearts, like the prophets who remind us to love kindness and do justice, like Jesus who said blessed are the peaceMAKERS, and those who say,
“President” Tr*mp was asked on NYE if he had a New Year’s resolution. His bullsh*t answer was, “Peace. Peace on earth.” Know why he said that? Because it’s all he needs to say. He knows his cult of MAGA won’t question it, and will keep peddling a false theology to justify war and brutality in Jesus’ name, while Jesus actually weeps (and does a facepalm). This is abhorrent news today about the bombing and kidnapping in Venezuela, that happened without provocation (the bombing of alleged boats with drugs/terrorists a violent, convenient misleading narrative), and we have an unhinged president, cowardice congress, and a brutal, bully Department of “War” indeed. This administration and their cult of enablers and followers will pretend there is righteousness behind this brutality. They will use blasphemy around words like morality and divine “right”. They will wrap militarism in “patriotism” in a fantasy of America’s “greatness” feeling heroic because they are loyal to the Orange King. It is deeply tragic and utterly embarrassing that MAGA will continue to swallow such ill justifications in the name of nationalism when in reality it is a lack of critical thinking and historical understanding. (Why do you think education is under attack in the U.S. or that we don’t have funding for it, only for war?) No, this is empire. It is sin. I feel sick and sad and mad. This is the predictable result of decades of white Christian nationalism, and propaganda about drugs (remember- Tr*mp pardoned a convicted, massive cocaine kingpin, and others- the “war on drugs” is a facade). I find it quite rich that a corrupt, vile, criminal, grifter, who uses the military against his own citizens, and tried to steal an election is pretending to despise a dictator of another country. He does.not.care. about the well-being of the Venezuelan people. This outcome is the result of fear mongering about human beings, vilifying and scapegoating, all so people will vote someone like him in despite his vile existence. It’s about power and oil, and stealing resources and subsequently refusing to take in the refugees we’ve created. Same as it’s always been. It’s Vietnam. It’s Iraq. (Sacrificing and lying to soldiers about WMD for Cheney’s greedy benefit.) It’s Ukraine. It’s Gaza. It’s xenophobia. It’s transphobia. It’s about corruption and lining the pockets of the wealthy. It’s unconstitutional. It’s American exceptionalism. It’s a distraction. (Epstein, Jack Smith’s damning testimony, the dire state of our economy, etc.) It’s _______. The lie about “diplomacy” under the reality of violence, a theme in the United States of America, goes on. Is Maduro a dictator and a bad guy? Yes. Was this attack legal/justified? No. (Will some foreign country come and kidnap Tr*mp? Aren’t Republicans always going off about “slippery slopes”?) For Tr*mp, it’s not about Maduro no matter what he says. He doesn’t care about the Venezuelan people; he cares about oil and greed. The international order put in place after WWII is being dismantled before our very eyes. This will have global implications. History has shown us the destabilization and horrific consequences when acts like this from the U.S. occur. Write and call your reps. Say something. Lord have mercy. As a chaplain/ordained person, as a follower of Jesus, as a human being for God’s sake, I cannot and will not stay silent about this, nor any of it, and neither should you.
A vile, horrific assassination occurred on 9/10. It is an act that should never happen to anyone. And, Charlie Kirk’s unjustified murder does not erase his harmful legacy. We can grieve his awful, unacceptable murder, and refuse to venerate a person who sowed seeds of hate. We can acknowledge the image of God created in every person, including Charlie Kirk, and we can lament Kirk’s own lack of love in many of his words that perpetuated a harmful ideology; a refusal to live into that Divine Image.
There were basically two different kinds of church services happening across the country this past Sunday. One that I know of, had a giant screen with an American flag and a large picture of Charlie Kirk, and the preacher spoke uncritically about the (mythical) founding of this country as being a “Christian Nation” and then suddenly the service became a political rally/soft launch for a “ministry leader” Victor Marx, whose highest level of education is a high school diploma, and who also wants to run for governor. (That is not to demean anyone who doesn’t have more than a high school education; it is meant to question his qualifications for a high political office, and in ministry. But we shouldn’t be surprised given who is currently in the White House.) On the other hand, other churches were making statements abhorring the political assassination of Charlie Kirk while being honest about the racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, cruel legacy he leaves behind. Kirk’s death overshadowed another school shooting that happened on the same day. Yet, some white evangelical churches in America Sunday morning chose to have their own memorial/political campaign/idol worship services of Charlie Kirk, instead of, oh, I don’t know, what some other churches were doing: Lighting candles for children harmed by bullets. Praying for all victims of gun violence. Denouncing the unacceptable act of political violence that killed Kirk, while preaching the truth about his harmful legacy, and calling all of us to examine our own souls, lest we become part of the problem. Maybe holding spaces to process and grieve, and discuss. Holding sessions for advocacy to end gun violence after church. (I attended the CFCU meeting in Colorado yesterday afternoon. Check out their website here):
Imagine the parents of schoolchildren in CO who fought for their lives in hospitals, who were traumatized by, yet again, another school shooting, while flags are being flown half staff for a man who spent his life inciting violence, spewing hate, and tragically and ironically dying by the very gun violence he believed we should tolerate for a “god given” second amendment right. Imagine the silence if the shooting in UT had been of students, and not Charlie Kirk. While more is unknown about motive, it is evident that both shooters in both these cases were not “radical left lunatics” even as MAGA would have us believe otherwise. And the VPOTUS made a propagandist statement today, lying about Kirks words, making dangerous false claims, and blaming the left. Reading the dog whistle of his own dangerous rhetoric should have all of us deeply concerned. It is a projection, because the past decade has been largely dominated by right wing political violence and incitement.
America’s veneration of white supremacy is a disappointing, but an unsurprising response to the assassination of Charlie Kirk. My stomach has been turning all week as I see flags flown half staff for the death of one who’s life legacy was racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, misinformation, exclusion, and manipulation of young people while using Christianity and the Bible to justify it (often with flawed theology, and anti-anything close to Christlike). Kirk was not an elected leader. He was not even really an “activist” as some have described him. He had a podcast. He.had.a.podcast. Kirk, a college drop out, who often debated students younger than him, and rarely participated in actual debate settings (and when he did, usually lost), has been touted as an excellent debater. But the problem is, people may see him as a skilled debater because he had tactics to redirect, talk over, and overwhelm the other with multiple topics, even as such topics lacked accuracy. But such tactics do not make him right about what he was arguing. To be correct, one would need to substantiate their arguments. Kirk didn’t do that, but it didn’t matter if the perception was that he “won” because he was loud and could misquote lots of bible verses.
What is also disappointing but unsurprising is the way some of my social media contacts/friends/family have been defending him and sharing videos about Kirk from their silos that make him out to be a good Christian, a good man, etc. I can see how one would think that, if all they see about him comes from the Fox News Entertainment channel and the like. We are seeing the massive impact of disinformation and control of the masses we’ve been warned about for almost a decade, and now even more loudly. Kirk was part of that very endeavor- the propaganda that pushes young people, especially young white men, into far right pipelines, and makes them believe they are the persecuted. This whole thing is and always has been, the twisting of patriotism, tradition, and freedom into white nationalism, misogyny, and authoritarianism.
I was the recipient of vitriol and derogatory words this week when I spoke the truth about Kirk. A MAGA hat wearing acquaintance called me “a fucking joke” before he blocked me so I couldn’t respond. He proves my point about the violence and cowardice of MAGA, sadly reinforcing the very behaviors and rhetoric that perpetuate such harm and violence, and ironically, about what they are seemingly mad about- the violence used against Kirk…right? Make it make sense. I realize cruel words are on the opposite spectrum of murder, and yet I know part of what fuels violence…
Charlie Kirk was assassinated. It was vile, horrific, and we should be angry at the loss of ANY life at the hands of guns. But no one should be expected to mourn his life, and some people have good reason not to. While no one deserves to be murdered, we can also acknowledge that while his death was awful, it does not negate that his life’s work was awful, too. As Rev. Dr. Howard-John Wesley said in his sermon this Sunday, “There is nowhere in the Bible where we are taught to honor evil; and how you die does not redeem how you lived. You don’t become a hero in death, when you are a weapon of the enemy in life.” See a longer excerpt of his sermon here:
Kirk is a man who spent his life and money spreading hate. He normalized it, justified it, and took God’s name in vain by using Christianity to defend it. And just like the current administration and its ilk are rewriting history, they are controlling the narrative around Kirk’s death, whitewashing his comments, and calling him an American hero. His is not. He is a white supremacist. It is precisely why Tr*mp put out a quick public comment blaming the “radical left” without any evidence, with no suspect in custody, no motive. It is exactly why Republican Nancy Mae said, “The Democrats own this” and lied with derogatory words that the shooter was “tranny or pro-tranny” before she knew any facts. It’s why Stephen Miller is quick to project everything he represents on to the left and to call for attacks on the left in Kirk’s name. It is dangerous, and pathetically irresponsible. The truth is, and this has been researched, studied, and well documented, that the threat of domestic terrorism, which is indeed the biggest threat to America, is drastically more of a threat from the right. (49.9% of motivations for political violence come from right wing/white supremacist ideologies. 22.9% is leftist. The gender is 77% male and 0.8% gender nonconforming, and 55.66% white. 76% of politically motivated deaths have been committed by the far right. The far left? 4%.)
Remember when Tr*mp said it would be a “waste of time” to call the family of Representative Hortman and instead began disparaging the Gov. of MN? (He also responded with, “Who?” When a member of the press questioned his drastically different response to Kirk’s assassination vs. his revealing lack of action toward her, her husband’s and their dog’s?) Recall the silence about Hortman’s right wing killer/political violence? Were flags flown half staff for Hortman? Are flags ever flown for children who die in school shootings?
Additionally, can we stop conflating racism and hate with “political opinion”? Having discussions about taxes and how to regulate guns, or address corporate environmental impact, who would be best to support during elections, those are political opinions. Saying Black people were better off in slavery, that MLK Jr was “awful” and “not a good person” and that the Civil Rights Act shouldn’t have been passed, is not only dangerous, but simply racist. We need to separate what we do about governance, from the dangerous extremism of dehumanization, and inciting violence. One is about political opinion, the other is about hate. The selective rage is simply yet another indicator that it’s all about white supremacy. We must speak out against the false narrative about Kirk’s legacy as one of goodness and righteousness, and be honest, even when we are falsely accused of being intolerant, about Kirk’s cruel legacy.
I am troubled by those who defend Kirk, especially those who all themselves Christian. How do they reconcile these verified comments he made with anything good, or Christian? Click the link:
We must refuse to glorify hate. We must respond, in the wake of ALL gun violence, with action. We also need time to process. We can pray. But it is not an excuse for inaction. I have included an excerpt below from the prayer I lead on Sunday. Right before Kirk was killed, his words were words of transphobia and racism. May our words, our legacy, and the seeds we plant, be ones of hope, love, peace, and justice.
Galatians 6:7
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Prayer:
“Breathe in:
The world is loud.”
“Breathe out:
I listen to my voice.”
“Breathe in:
This is too much to hold.”
“Breathe out:
So we hold it together.”
“Breathe in:
I keep my soul honest.”
“Breathe out:
I stay near to myself.”
“Breathe in:
To love and be loved.”
“Breathe out:
My purpose remains.”
-Selected Breath Prayers by Cole Arthur Riley
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God of shared tears:
In response to violence we lament, and wonder how to navigate all that is so heavy, devastating and contentious. Our lives have, once again, been impacted by the relentlessness of this country’s unique problem of gun violence, including yet another school shooting, and one that happened in our home state here in Colorado. Grant your peace and comfort to those injured, either by bullets or in the trauma of such a horrific event. We grieve with all of those affected by gun violence. We confess our anger and frustration at the endless cycle of this specific violence, and we weep remembering all of the lives lost to weapons of war that have flooded our communities. We are tired by those in power who work to prevent any real change. Help us to see our feelings and reactions as your movement in us to rise and work for advocacy and action.
And God, remind us that it is possible to speak out against murder, to hold compassion for those who witnessed the vile assassination in UT this week, and for the friends and family of the deceased, while being honest about the harmful legacy the deceased leaves behind, and all the while, especially standing firmly with those targeted by his cruelty and harmful rhetoric.
Help us to interrogate our own hearts, lest we adopt the same tools of those who oppress, and spread hate. May we have the courage to recognize and dismantle anything about our faith that supports white supremacy, nationalism, engages in dehumanization, justifies violence, exploits others, and defends empire. May we find the strength to follow Jesus’ incredibly difficult call to love our enemies, but to understand truly what that means- not to overlook or excuse harm, but in ways that dismantle violent systems that create enemies in the first place, to resist oppression, to love in ways that allow us to be transformed and to transform. Be with us as we wrestle with the tension and nuance of decrying any death at the hands of guns, while feeling angry about the culture and people that breed the very violence wrongly justified and used against others, and of which they can also become the victims of themselves.
Also, God, we name the exhaustion and sadness over ongoing violence in Gaza, Congo, Sudan, Ukraine. We grieve the ongoing demonization and terrorizing of immigrants. We grieve how division, selective outrage, and media inundation overshadows the cries of the marginalized. Draw us closer to you and to each other. Grant us wisdom and hope in all of the hopelessness.
As we move into the theme of our church year, “Cultivating the fruit of the spirit”, we recognize this fruit seemingly calling to us; a rising reminder in times like these: Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self Control. Manifest these bits of fruit-wisdom in all that we say and do as ones who seek to live out the gospel. Make us instruments of your peace.
We now join together in praying the prayer Jesus taught us, a prayer that reminds us of our sacred belonging- to God, to one another, and to the work of creating beloved community, we pray: Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. ~Amen
Regardful Reverend 