A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a devotional for my church about patience. We are studying the Fruit of the Spirit this year. We often think of patience as waiting for something. At some level, that may be true. But I think the fruit of patience has more to do with something much deeper...
Romans 12:12 – “Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; persevere in prayer.”
Anyone tired of waiting for the world to get better? For that right person for you to come along? For that clear answer? For something to change? For the grief to end?
It’s hard to be patient sometimes with these realities. But what if patience isn’t really about waiting? What if patience isn’t about the outcome, or the answer, or the arrival, or the “end” to whatever it is?
That requires a lot of trust, when things are incomplete, or we don’t know how things will turn out. But maybe patience has something to teach in the discomfort, the incompleteness, the doubt, as an invitation to something in the in-between. So much so that if and when something good comes along, it isn’t necessarily met with relief, or with “finally!” But instead it is met with joy.
I tend to be very patient in chaotic situations, and with other people, but I struggle with patience with myself. But patience, in the holy sense of it, is being gracious with myself when I am self-critical. It’s seeking to be kind when I feel anger, and it’s staying calm in the overwhelm. There’s a wholeness that.
I’m also not very patient with God. I doubt God. A lot. Yet, when I dwell in mystery and let go of guilt about doubt, I often find something really close to the possibility of that God I doubt. And in that, I have found a sense of wonder, an attention to divine details in my surroundings, which is such an enhancement to my faith than any sort of certainty is.
Remember when you were a kid (those who lived before things like Amazon’s one-click, same day delivery) and you would sometimes forget about the package that was on the way? But when the package came you had this joy when you remembered it- saying, “Oh, yeah!”
Or do you remember when you didn’t know the answer to something for a while, because you didn’t have a computer in your pocket, and when you later discovered an answer to a question, you said, “I have always wondered about that!” Is patience the wonder?
What was going on in the in-between when that package was still on its way, or when you didn’t know an answer right away, and you kind of forgot about them?
You were living. You released control. You weren’t really waiting anymore. You were patient, not because you were waiting, but because you were present. Maybe patience is a way of being, and really feeling the fullness of joy, even if it is a rare occurrence on the way to justice.
When we rejoice in hope, we’re still hoping for something. When we are patient in affliction, it doesn’t mean affliction will never happen again, and when we pray in our perseverance, we recognize why prayer matters, and it’s not about an outcome.
And through all of it, perhaps God is being patient. Not waiting for us, but also present- with us…showing up through these small, yet profound moments in nature, in community, in love. Patience may be the thing that reminds us who we are, and who God is, in all of the in-between.
Check out our church’s “Patience” playlist of songs (we have playlists for each Fruit!):
A vile, horrific assassination occurred on 9/10. It is an act that should never happen to anyone. And, Charlie Kirk’s unjustified murder does not erase his harmful legacy. We can grieve his awful, unacceptable murder, and refuse to venerate a person who sowed seeds of hate. We can acknowledge the image of God created in every person, including Charlie Kirk, and we can lament Kirk’s own lack of love in many of his words that perpetuated a harmful ideology; a refusal to live into that Divine Image.
There were basically two different kinds of church services happening across the country this past Sunday. One that I know of, had a giant screen with an American flag and a large picture of Charlie Kirk, and the preacher spoke uncritically about the (mythical) founding of this country as being a “Christian Nation” and then suddenly the service became a political rally/soft launch for a “ministry leader” Victor Marx, whose highest level of education is a high school diploma, and who also wants to run for governor. (That is not to demean anyone who doesn’t have more than a high school education; it is meant to question his qualifications for a high political office, and in ministry. But we shouldn’t be surprised given who is currently in the White House.) On the other hand, other churches were making statements abhorring the political assassination of Charlie Kirk while being honest about the racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, cruel legacy he leaves behind. Kirk’s death overshadowed another school shooting that happened on the same day. Yet, some white evangelical churches in America Sunday morning chose to have their own memorial/political campaign/idol worship services of Charlie Kirk, instead of, oh, I don’t know, what some other churches were doing: Lighting candles for children harmed by bullets. Praying for all victims of gun violence. Denouncing the unacceptable act of political violence that killed Kirk, while preaching the truth about his harmful legacy, and calling all of us to examine our own souls, lest we become part of the problem. Maybe holding spaces to process and grieve, and discuss. Holding sessions for advocacy to end gun violence after church. (I attended the CFCU meeting in Colorado yesterday afternoon. Check out their website here):
Imagine the parents of schoolchildren in CO who fought for their lives in hospitals, who were traumatized by, yet again, another school shooting, while flags are being flown half staff for a man who spent his life inciting violence, spewing hate, and tragically and ironically dying by the very gun violence he believed we should tolerate for a “god given” second amendment right. Imagine the silence if the shooting in UT had been of students, and not Charlie Kirk. While more is unknown about motive, it is evident that both shooters in both these cases were not “radical left lunatics” even as MAGA would have us believe otherwise. And the VPOTUS made a propagandist statement today, lying about Kirks words, making dangerous false claims, and blaming the left. Reading the dog whistle of his own dangerous rhetoric should have all of us deeply concerned. It is a projection, because the past decade has been largely dominated by right wing political violence and incitement.
America’s veneration of white supremacy is a disappointing, but an unsurprising response to the assassination of Charlie Kirk. My stomach has been turning all week as I see flags flown half staff for the death of one who’s life legacy was racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, misinformation, exclusion, and manipulation of young people while using Christianity and the Bible to justify it (often with flawed theology, and anti-anything close to Christlike). Kirk was not an elected leader. He was not even really an “activist” as some have described him. He had a podcast. He.had.a.podcast. Kirk, a college drop out, who often debated students younger than him, and rarely participated in actual debate settings (and when he did, usually lost), has been touted as an excellent debater. But the problem is, people may see him as a skilled debater because he had tactics to redirect, talk over, and overwhelm the other with multiple topics, even as such topics lacked accuracy. But such tactics do not make him right about what he was arguing. To be correct, one would need to substantiate their arguments. Kirk didn’t do that, but it didn’t matter if the perception was that he “won” because he was loud and could misquote lots of bible verses.
What is also disappointing but unsurprising is the way some of my social media contacts/friends/family have been defending him and sharing videos about Kirk from their silos that make him out to be a good Christian, a good man, etc. I can see how one would think that, if all they see about him comes from the Fox News Entertainment channel and the like. We are seeing the massive impact of disinformation and control of the masses we’ve been warned about for almost a decade, and now even more loudly. Kirk was part of that very endeavor- the propaganda that pushes young people, especially young white men, into far right pipelines, and makes them believe they are the persecuted. This whole thing is and always has been, the twisting of patriotism, tradition, and freedom into white nationalism, misogyny, and authoritarianism.
I was the recipient of vitriol and derogatory words this week when I spoke the truth about Kirk. A MAGA hat wearing acquaintance called me “a fucking joke” before he blocked me so I couldn’t respond. He proves my point about the violence and cowardice of MAGA, sadly reinforcing the very behaviors and rhetoric that perpetuate such harm and violence, and ironically, about what they are seemingly mad about- the violence used against Kirk…right? Make it make sense. I realize cruel words are on the opposite spectrum of murder, and yet I know part of what fuels violence…
Charlie Kirk was assassinated. It was vile, horrific, and we should be angry at the loss of ANY life at the hands of guns. But no one should be expected to mourn his life, and some people have good reason not to. While no one deserves to be murdered, we can also acknowledge that while his death was awful, it does not negate that his life’s work was awful, too. As Rev. Dr. Howard-John Wesley said in his sermon this Sunday, “There is nowhere in the Bible where we are taught to honor evil; and how you die does not redeem how you lived. You don’t become a hero in death, when you are a weapon of the enemy in life.” See a longer excerpt of his sermon here:
Kirk is a man who spent his life and money spreading hate. He normalized it, justified it, and took God’s name in vain by using Christianity to defend it. And just like the current administration and its ilk are rewriting history, they are controlling the narrative around Kirk’s death, whitewashing his comments, and calling him an American hero. His is not. He is a white supremacist. It is precisely why Tr*mp put out a quick public comment blaming the “radical left” without any evidence, with no suspect in custody, no motive. It is exactly why Republican Nancy Mae said, “The Democrats own this” and lied with derogatory words that the shooter was “tranny or pro-tranny” before she knew any facts. It’s why Stephen Miller is quick to project everything he represents on to the left and to call for attacks on the left in Kirk’s name. It is dangerous, and pathetically irresponsible. The truth is, and this has been researched, studied, and well documented, that the threat of domestic terrorism, which is indeed the biggest threat to America, is drastically more of a threat from the right. (49.9% of motivations for political violence come from right wing/white supremacist ideologies. 22.9% is leftist. The gender is 77% male and 0.8% gender nonconforming, and 55.66% white. 76% of politically motivated deaths have been committed by the far right. The far left? 4%.)
Remember when Tr*mp said it would be a “waste of time” to call the family of Representative Hortman and instead began disparaging the Gov. of MN? (He also responded with, “Who?” When a member of the press questioned his drastically different response to Kirk’s assassination vs. his revealing lack of action toward her, her husband’s and their dog’s?) Recall the silence about Hortman’s right wing killer/political violence? Were flags flown half staff for Hortman? Are flags ever flown for children who die in school shootings?
Additionally, can we stop conflating racism and hate with “political opinion”? Having discussions about taxes and how to regulate guns, or address corporate environmental impact, who would be best to support during elections, those are political opinions. Saying Black people were better off in slavery, that MLK Jr was “awful” and “not a good person” and that the Civil Rights Act shouldn’t have been passed, is not only dangerous, but simply racist. We need to separate what we do about governance, from the dangerous extremism of dehumanization, and inciting violence. One is about political opinion, the other is about hate. The selective rage is simply yet another indicator that it’s all about white supremacy. We must speak out against the false narrative about Kirk’s legacy as one of goodness and righteousness, and be honest, even when we are falsely accused of being intolerant, about Kirk’s cruel legacy.
I am troubled by those who defend Kirk, especially those who all themselves Christian. How do they reconcile these verified comments he made with anything good, or Christian? Click the link:
We must refuse to glorify hate. We must respond, in the wake of ALL gun violence, with action. We also need time to process. We can pray. But it is not an excuse for inaction. I have included an excerpt below from the prayer I lead on Sunday. Right before Kirk was killed, his words were words of transphobia and racism. May our words, our legacy, and the seeds we plant, be ones of hope, love, peace, and justice.
Galatians 6:7
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Prayer:
“Breathe in:
The world is loud.”
“Breathe out:
I listen to my voice.”
“Breathe in:
This is too much to hold.”
“Breathe out:
So we hold it together.”
“Breathe in:
I keep my soul honest.”
“Breathe out:
I stay near to myself.”
“Breathe in:
To love and be loved.”
“Breathe out:
My purpose remains.”
-Selected Breath Prayers by Cole Arthur Riley
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God of shared tears:
In response to violence we lament, and wonder how to navigate all that is so heavy, devastating and contentious. Our lives have, once again, been impacted by the relentlessness of this country’s unique problem of gun violence, including yet another school shooting, and one that happened in our home state here in Colorado. Grant your peace and comfort to those injured, either by bullets or in the trauma of such a horrific event. We grieve with all of those affected by gun violence. We confess our anger and frustration at the endless cycle of this specific violence, and we weep remembering all of the lives lost to weapons of war that have flooded our communities. We are tired by those in power who work to prevent any real change. Help us to see our feelings and reactions as your movement in us to rise and work for advocacy and action.
And God, remind us that it is possible to speak out against murder, to hold compassion for those who witnessed the vile assassination in UT this week, and for the friends and family of the deceased, while being honest about the harmful legacy the deceased leaves behind, and all the while, especially standing firmly with those targeted by his cruelty and harmful rhetoric.
Help us to interrogate our own hearts, lest we adopt the same tools of those who oppress, and spread hate. May we have the courage to recognize and dismantle anything about our faith that supports white supremacy, nationalism, engages in dehumanization, justifies violence, exploits others, and defends empire. May we find the strength to follow Jesus’ incredibly difficult call to love our enemies, but to understand truly what that means- not to overlook or excuse harm, but in ways that dismantle violent systems that create enemies in the first place, to resist oppression, to love in ways that allow us to be transformed and to transform. Be with us as we wrestle with the tension and nuance of decrying any death at the hands of guns, while feeling angry about the culture and people that breed the very violence wrongly justified and used against others, and of which they can also become the victims of themselves.
Also, God, we name the exhaustion and sadness over ongoing violence in Gaza, Congo, Sudan, Ukraine. We grieve the ongoing demonization and terrorizing of immigrants. We grieve how division, selective outrage, and media inundation overshadows the cries of the marginalized. Draw us closer to you and to each other. Grant us wisdom and hope in all of the hopelessness.
As we move into the theme of our church year, “Cultivating the fruit of the spirit”, we recognize this fruit seemingly calling to us; a rising reminder in times like these: Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self Control. Manifest these bits of fruit-wisdom in all that we say and do as ones who seek to live out the gospel. Make us instruments of your peace.
We now join together in praying the prayer Jesus taught us, a prayer that reminds us of our sacred belonging- to God, to one another, and to the work of creating beloved community, we pray: Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. ~Amen
Regardful Reverend 