(An ongoing list of resources is at the end of this blog entry.)

______

“It’s Not Fair!” This was a common refrain of mine as a child, and something I became known for apparently. I recall a voicemail when this was mentioned by one of my pastors who watched me grow up. She reminisced about it upon hearing the news in 2009 that I was going to attend seminary, stating how appropriate it was knowing I had a heart for fairness and justice from a very young age. I kept that voicemail, and listened to it from time to time, especially when fatigued during my seminary years, when I would ask myself what the heck I was doing there…

I’m sure my cries of unfairness and injustice as a child were genuine at times, and at others, more childish. The genuine times were likely upon seeing an animal suffer, or friends not sharing, maybe those cries were both genuine and childish when coming from the woes of being the younger sibling, or from places I just didn’t quite understand yet, and they were more childish from less significant “problems” (like being too short for the high dive). But it was a shout that would mature and reach a broader grasp beyond myself, and is still informing, and listening to those who are being treated unfairly, suffering from violent consequences of unjust policies, and ultimately, manifesting into a shout that calls out what fails to support the Gospel of Liberation, and becoming a bellow of insistence for justice exemplified by the radical love of Jesus.

Amos 5:24

The “It’s not fair” inner child in me has been growing to call out injustices around suffering and inequality, violence and oppression, and has compelled me to work to eradicate violence and seek authentic healing. I join in the statement I have joined in from its founding in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer, since then and yet again, after the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and more…

Black Lives Matter. 

We must end the silencing violence of using “All Lives Matter” in response to Black Lives Matter. It’s an insult to our intelligence; yes, all lives matter…inherently. Every life is precious, beloved, and marked by the Image of God. But the cry and protesting voice of Black Lives Matter rings out, and will continue to, like the waters flowing toward justice, until the inherent value of all of us is reflected in society, policy, education, living, health, communities, religion, relationships, life, and more.

Black Lives Matter.

Gen. 1:27

Ps. 12:5

Ps. 103:6

Gal. 6:1-3

Jn. 15:13

I have a blog. It’s not a widely read one, I only write in it on occasion, and it’s only one space of many I can express myself. Some of my entries are light hearted, about family and parenting; some dig deep. Some are poems, some are reflective, some are my wannabe movie critic musings, and some are necessary responses to injustice. Today’s entry is one of the latter. I write this blog entry because I must. I am full of outrage, and deep grief. It is from the obligation I have as a white person, as an ordained person, and from other places of privilege, to do the work in dismantling the very institution of whiteness I benefit from. Over 2000 years ago, a man of color was killed by the powers that be, and the lynching that occurred then, and now, is linked to the modern day lynchings that linger. And those of us who don the stole should take to the streets in solidarity, work as the hands and feet of Christ, knowing Jesus himself, if he were with us in body, would undoubtedly be marching with a Black Lives Matter sign. Jesus stood with, and fought for the marginalized. Yet Jesus is here in spirit, in body, through our bodies. How are we using them to be active in the struggle toward the embodiment of justice? Are we seeing the way Jesus is still being killed at the hands of corruption and power, again, and again, and again? If we are a resurrection people, we need to look inwardly and outwardly, at what needs to be part of the ongoing resurrection.

Mt. 21:12-13

Mk. 8:34

Mt. 4:17 

Sadly, arguing with fanatics, those lost in cognitive dissonance, and thick denial are not usually worth our energy. In essence, they are lost. But I believe in the power of redemption. And many are coming around, some even surprisingly, to join the effort. Voices are speaking up in various ways with platforms big and small. All of these spaces, in whatever ways we can use them, are critical right now for our usage. Don’t think for one second that someone else saying something similar to what you want to say about these injustices, or someone who says it better (whether that’s true or not), is reason for you not to speak up. I have wondered this. Don’t believe that lie. Take away the power from those spurious voices that tell you otherwise, and speak up anyway. Squash the voices of doubt that tell you you aren’t smart enough, not influential enough, that someone else already saying it is enough, or (fill in the blank)… 

While I have endured sexism, misogyny, and can count myself among those who lament with #MeToo, my privilege as a white woman has afforded me security and freedoms that black men and women have never experienced. My white friends and family, we cannot be silent. The more people using their platforms, dinner tables, social media, church groups, book clubs, bus rides, wallets, any of the spaces we occupy to do the work we are called to do, the better. All of our voices combined are necessary in the resistance and the persistence for change. Most importantly, we must persist until policy changes are made. We must work to shift the destructive narratives, to stand up to racism, to resist all forms of injustice and oppression however they show up; all of our voices are needed to dismantle the evil of white supremacy. 

Speaking of churches…If your churches, houses of worship, sacred spaces (if you are part of one), are not responding with clear, substantive stances (sentiment won’t cut it), and are lacking in action, ask the staff why, and see about changing that. Be patient and willing to work with those communities to create needed shifts, but be prepared to leave if nothing changes, and seek out new faith communities who are making authentic commitments to justice and action. It is the work of the church.

“Put simply, any theology today that does not confront the cycle of violence perpetuated by white supremacy betrays the God of the crucified Jesus.” -Rev. Dr. Kelly Brown Douglas

You might say the wrong thing. I have, and you will, and we will again. But worrying about saying the wrong thing as an excuse to stay silent keeps us complicit, so please join me in this growing edge. Reject the culture of shame around acknowledging our part in white supremacy and racism. In Ibram X. Kendi’s book, “How to be an Antiracist,” Kendi reframes the calling out of something/someone as racist to its true power of enlightenment, explaining the difference between the word received falsely as a pejorative, and correctly as a descriptive. In a perfect partnership of linguistics and social work, Brene Brown’s interview with Kendi in Brown’s podcast “Unlocking Us” (highly recommend) where the two discussed Kendi’s book, and the issue of shame (a focus of much of Brown’s work), the two break down shame, cultivate empathy, and recognize the term racist as an identifier, to shut down defensiveness, and the reactive ego response that dismissively makes it about one’s self (and entirely misses the point). It opens the door wider, to have the courage to be authentic in our transformation once the identifier holds us accountable. This is huge. Shame-rejection work opens up the expansiveness of human growth potential. Reject the culture of shame that keeps us from growing, learning, being antiracists, and authentic humans. As white people, we must be consistently self evaluating how we need to shift, change, let go, take on, act, and more. We only perpetuate the problem when we don’t. White supremacy depends upon our denial, our cognitive dissonance, our ignorance, our fear, our refusal to do/say something. Work to understand the difference between having white skin, and whiteness as ideology, as positions of power, and as sets of normative privileges.

White silence is violence.

“The beauty of anti-racism is that you don’t have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And it’s the only way forward.” -Ijeoma Oluo

“When we know better, we do better.” -Maya Angelou

The divisive “leadership” response to these century long cries for justice continue to silence the despairing cries with cowardly displays of force and words that incite violence. Jesus weeps. A nation’s so-called leader “turned holy ground into a battle ground” (Budde) at the sight of sacred scripture being used as a propped up, desperate signal virtue, condemned by military commanders, and lawmakers, and church/spiritual leaders including myself. Peaceful protestors’ rights and bodies were violently assaulted by the unacceptable orders of the current president by violation of his oath of office. To be Christian, to be followers of Jesus, is to be active in resisting evil, injustice, and oppression, as in the case of white supremacy, systematic racism, tyranny, and ever so clearly in current events. As an ordained chaplain, I join in the Bishop’s outrage over what occurred at St. John’s Episcopal Church in D.C. She is right to be outraged; I am, and you should be, too. Rt. Rev. Budde continued, “He didn’t come to pray. He didn’t come to lament the death of George Floyd. He didn’t come to address the deep wounds that are being expressed through peaceful protest by the thousands upon thousands. He didn’t try to bring calm to situations that are exploding with pain.” 

Instead, this man in yet another display of cowardice, used the bible as a prop, as a shield, violating his oath of office, using gas to dispel peaceful protestors. This is what wannabe dictators do. This disrespectful, sacrilegious, waste of time photo op is pandering to groups of the evangelical right, b/c he needs their votes again, and hopes some will continue to be sell outs (for judges, the “platform”, for single issues, or in flat out, full, unabashed support) if/when they do vote for him again. The irony that he stood in front of a church sign that says, “All are welcome” is not lost on me considering this administration’s xenophobic, racist, homophobic efforts to exclude. If one is wondering why I bring up Trump in this blog, it’s because he is the white backlash result of the post-Obama presidency, and his rhetoric and policy reveal white supremacy blatantly, and in covert whistleblowing. It must not be tolerated. This is not a normal presidency. But it didn’t start with him, and it won’t end with him whenever he leaves the White House. The pain of injustice began centuries ago, and continues today, and we need to get past only paying attention to the blatancy of racism (or staying comfortable in declaring we are not racist in that way), and open our eyes to, and work to eradicate, racism in ourselves, institutions, education, the injurious impact of neighborhood redlining, gentrification, healthcare, law, government, and more.

Many of my blog readers know my partner is in law enforcement. Some of my personal connections have asked me what my partner thinks, and what I think of this. I’d like to address that, but I don’t want to lose sight of the focus. I want to respond to the curiosity of others in how I navigate my marriage’s reality in this way, along with my call to justice work. I want to share the legitimate struggle that it is. My hope is that by responding, others can latch on to whatever courage they are working to summon, because I know there are many people in relationships with, or as people themselves, employed by corrupt institutions, and/or in problematic spaces entrenched with colonialism and white supremacy. Many of us are, at some point or another, thinking through whatever clashing actualities and existences are occurring in the complexity of it all. Each of us in my family seek out the care we need, and reach out to our support systems to remain healthy, with supportive pastors, therapists, friends, and more. But my struggle as an LE family should not distract from the work at hand.

I cannot speak for my partner directly, but I can share some of what has surfaced in our conversations, and my own perspective. I recognize that it is easier for me to talk about it, not being the one wearing the uniform. I also recognize how important it is for those in uniform to speak up. And for me, because I am married to a cop, I feel I have all the more obligation to speak up because of that very relationship. It is very difficult to hold so many things that are true, to hold so much intricacy, emotion, pain, and more. There is so much I don’t know, am seeking to understand and learn, and how to be, and how to navigate with this critical movement, woven in my commitment to justice, and my commitment to my relationships. 

The job in LE is very difficult. The dangers, unhealthy culture, and overall challenges of being a cop have had traumatic impacts on my spouse and our family in ways I wish were never true. While there are good people in LE, like my partner, who do take their oaths seriously, and are doing good work, who have a good rapport, who are respected by leaders, who have a good influence on young officers, who feel depleted by being lumped into categories, who are dealing with the stress, strain, PTSD, and burdens of arduous work; many of them are also struggling, some silently, some with their loved ones or in therapy, some unaware, with how they are part of a system of complicity even so. It’s important to understand the accusations toward police as an institution as valid, harsh as they are, with the justified anger behind them, even while it’s a concurrence that is very difficult to grapple with.

I do believe it is important to avoid demonization and dehumanization when talking about the human element in any group, while also recognizing the understandable labels of police as an entirety. My spouse plays a role in LE, and he is also a spouse, father, son, brother, church-goer, gardener, bird watcher, and a meditation expert (far better than I am)! He’s a model builder, history buff, a Civil Air Patrol volunteer. He’s full of energy, humor, kindness, gregariousness, making friends wherever we go (much to the chagrin of my introverted self), and so much more. He’s a human being. I think we can be aware of the both/ands (a common theme in my theological positions and writing), of the problems in dehumanization, while also understanding the perilous system within which one can operate. We can try to figure out day by day, person by person, election by election, vote by vote, policy by policy, choice by choice, deconstruction by deconstruction, brick by brick rebuilding, the goal of transformation both painful and healing, toward what is just. What are the both/ands in our lives, in our various roles, in the sources of our income, in how we spend our money, in our relationships, in the things we consume, etc.? It’s messy. Grapple with it, see what you can untangle, talk about, disconnect, reconnect, rebuild, transfer, shift, make a change, imagine…

I have heard the stories of ridicule in my spouse’s efforts to speak out against toxic culture, excessive use of force, speaking in support of common sense gun control, efforts to be patient with more verbal commands, before, or entirely in place of physical engagement, his support for certain aspects of reform, and more. “Who’s side are you on?” (Hear the problem with that comment? The implication to take a side?!) “You’ve gone all soft”, “Inmate lover” and more, are frequent replies. Aside from toxic cops, he knows firsthand that while he works alongside like minded friends who also take their oaths seriously, there is a haunting he and his colleagues face, both externally and internally in this tug of war, with a rope woven by humanity, livelihood, intentions of duty, and morality; along with toxicity, trauma, the stigma of mental health support, corruption, and the impact of violence. There is not enough acknowledgement, nor recognition for calming down situations resolved by communication skills, and fear of getting in trouble when not meeting the expectations to support stat-driven policing. Training focuses far more on combat techniques and shooting, than community policing and bias training. Much of what’s being begged for is treated like a box to check. Humans labeled by numbers that build from arrests, unnecessary warrant sweeps, tickets, head counts in jails and prisons, drive funding. The divisive culture of “back the blue” (again, implying “us vs. them” mentality), the detriment of the “blue code of silence” the racism of “Blue Lives Matter” encourages deception, divisiveness, violence, and more. Claims of “just following orders” and “justified” and “following protocol” become reasons why police aren’t always held accountable, backed by unions and immunity, civil cases almost impossible to win, etc. (The FOP- Fraternal Order of Police, the largest police union in the world, endorsed Trump in September of 2016.) Just because an entity can legally claim justification, does not always make it right.

Even though some incremental changes have helped (my partner launched a structural change in use of force policy within his own agency which reduced such instances), the entrenchment of white supremacy and toxic culture are resistant to lasting, fundamental and broader changes/deconstruction, greatly needed for the betterment of communities. Such reform attempts continue to be deflected, or proposed, implemented, then watered down, or they fail to bring about a fruition of what it means to protect and serve in the very heart of those words. (Think about it. Protect. Serve.) Incremental steps, and reform are still not enough, and have not worked well enough. Culture shift, policy changes, community building, investing in safety nets, the reduction of ridiculous expectations on police, are a welcomed reform in the discussions I have had, and heard in my partner’s stories. And while kneeling, hugs, marching arm in arm, are symbols that stir (assuming they are genuine), and could be a signs of hope, they will ring hollow if they don’t accompany the ongoing work such gestures seem to communicate.

“The photos of officers kneeling and marching and hugging are nice. The video of officers giving good speeches and becoming emotional are moving. BUT. Friends, we are not going to hug our way to justice. This fight is not about police being nicer. This fight is about systemic racism, injustice, accountability. The cute pictures won’t do. *Policy change. *Defunding. *Abolition *Prosecution These are examples of the deep changes that are being called for right now. This is what it looks like to fight for Black lives in this moment. If you don’t want this to happen again, we are going to need more than hugs. *PS: when you do see the “nice” officers; don’t ask for hugs, ask for courage. Courage to change a system that hurts Black people.” -Austin Channing Brown

Systemic racism’s stronghold, even beyond blatant acts, words, and police brutality, stubbornly resists reform as the ultimate goal. There is a barrier that often keeps policing from adopting the drastic changes being shouted for. And it’s most certainly beyond the erroneous “bad apple” argument. Cops aren’t necessarily anymore racist than a lawyer, or doctor might be, for example. But it’s the system that was built in a way that gives them the tools, and power, mixed with a virulent culture, a fear of betrayal or appearing weak, and the statistically backed fact that biases in the police force are rampant, altogether revealing that we need to just stop with the “bad apple” excuse. Plus, even if we take the literal bad apple argument and apply it, look at what happened in Buffalo NY. Two officers who were “just following orders” assaulted an elderly man. (And the hallow look in the officer’s eyes who was pulled away from the man when he reached to help him…that second of empathy that arose in regret, but was quickly shunned…that’s a glimpse, that’s the beginning, or continuing, of the erosion of his emotional and psychological well-being as a member of LE.) Then the 75 officers alongside them resigned from their special duty team in support of the two, then later cheered among a crowd (cheered!) upon the two officers’ exit from the court house. How does one assess the quality of apples in such a scenario?

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/06/chauvin-did-what-trump-asked-him-do/612574/

Can we create new institutionalized policies and organizations that were not founded in, and are not so entrenched in white supremacy, and racism as was/is the case of the American police and the criminal justice system? Can we stop denying the fact that when a system (policing) was literally born out of slave patrols, it still carries that thread into the very violence occurring today? We are seeing the movements through the power of the people to work in a new direction already, and yes, even as the partner of a cop, I have and continue to wholeheartedly support this trajectory in the best and most effective ways I can, and commit to continue to learn how to do more and more effectively. And it’s not just in policing and justice systems; it’s racism in schools, higher education, neighborhoods, religious institutions, healthcare, and government; we can recognize ways in which racism and destructive power play a role in varying levels. But many who hold decision making power, do not have this kind of awareness, or are willfully ignorant, and that contributes to perpetuating problems, attitudes, division and oppression. It didn’t start with Trump, but he has, and is still fanning the flames on this matter (and he quite literally has encouraged brutal police tactics), and has ended the Obama era restrictions on military hardware flowing into police departments which was heightened during the Bush era “war on Terror”, thereby increasing the dangerous militarization of police (but the militarization goes decades back), in addition to so many other problems.

We need not pay attention to the fear mongering comments of “total chaos”, “insane” and “total anarchy in the streets” which continue to miss the entire point, and are a distraction to keep us from developing. Surface level judgments, fear mongering, and lack of understanding of what defunding and abolition mean are a hindrance to helping communities truly be safe, and set up to thrive. I know this is a long road ahead, but we need to creatively reimagine what it means to have healthy and safe communities that become less and less dependent on policing. We think we “need” police because we have become dependent upon that institution. Think about this. Why are we so reluctant to imagine a world where we don’t need police? Wouldn’t that be an ideal world? Are we reacting to this vision by thinking of worse case scenarios without policing instead of best case scenarios without it? What does that say about what’s driving our response? White supremacist power, which depends upon fear. That’s what. And even if we’re in our “realist” mind, and we think it’s utopian to have a world without policing, shouldn’t we try to work toward it anyway? For the benefit of those who are realistically being oppressed by it now? The answer is a resounding yes. The over-funded, militarized police system reflects a heavily weighted imbalance of money and power from places it could be more equally spent, better spent, more heavily spent, or altogether spent, directly to the benefit of human thriving. How is this system, or any of the systems we participate in, or are exposed to, life giving? How are they life limiting? 

https://fee.org/articles/the-militarization-of-americas-police-a-brief-history/

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/01/us/politics/police-military-gear.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/31/opinion/trump-police-george-floyd.html

https://www.politico.com/f/?id=00000172-7c37-d3d2-ab7a-7f3762a80000&fbclid=IwAR3JHAzShWo5VGZHdkZzHKtNv9aAjkrpdqxHTgY4PnUdBiI_ip400TdbUmU

“Safety, safeguarded by violence, is not really safety…abolition is not primarily a negative strategy…it’s not primarily about dismantling and getting rid of, but it’s about re-envisioning; it’s about building anew.” -Angela Davis (Informative interview on Democracy Now. See the entire interview here): https://www.democracynow.org/2020/6/12/angela_davis_on_abolition_calls_to?fbclid=IwAR0q2K7bZpGw9OBc0GXsx4lALnvh3xc7aOw9kG2THZ3tKp_G8VPaUHloYOQ

So how do my partner and I navigate these realities juxtaposed in our relationship? It’s not easy, but we are privileged to be able to have conversations safely and supportively while holding those nuances and complexities very carefully. I think it helps both of us, and our loved ones, not to be excused into thinking in extremes, but also to be held accountable and strive to do and be better, and to speak out. It’s important to note that the ability to distinguish being the spouse of a cop, in a space to do that, is a place of privilege itself. Being able to differentiate from how a cop I’m married to acts out of uniform within our family structure, is a place of privilege our family has. And it’s a privilege a lot of white people have, too. The dehumanization of cops isn’t ideal, yet is in no way comparative to the dehumanization people of color endure regularly. Speaking out is a must. The backlash can be rough and exhausting, especially when it comes from loved ones, but it is minor and doesn’t even compare to the injustices in point. I insist upon the conversations we need to have about the various options in police reform, defunding, redistribution of money into community based programs, unarmed trained responders of varying professional fields in mental health and social work, pulling out SRO’s from school districts, looking at the differing needs based on location, if not a complete rebuilding of public safety. All of these options on the table. This isn’t about a dichotomy of good cops and bad cops. This is about sanctioned violence. This is about systemic problems, and toxicity embedded in policing that must be faced, and changed.

I’m still trying to figure out, like many of us, what this might look like, with the ultimate goal of something reflective of healthy, thriving communities. Ignore the naysayers who claim extreme consequences, when they have and continue to ignore extremist police brutality tactics, prison policies, the preserving of oppression in numerous functions, and actions that are literally killing people of color historically, and right now. We cannot control how others will respond, as much as we hope they will be open. I wish people had more room in their hearts and minds for holding such entanglements, complexities, and nuances of the human experience, the American experience, and to see the need for reconsideration, destruction, rebuilding, and renewal. I hope and pray for clinched fists to unfurl and receive new ideas, and new possibilities, and to live into the kind of rebirth Jesus calls upon all of us to do at the very essence of “metanoia”.

“It’s not fair!” Feel the adamancy of that statement, if it is your inner child, or your own experiences of pain, to further develop empathy and compassion. Make the shift if the assertion comes from a distracting place about self, to the needed place about love. Tap into the desire for justice I believe we all have within us, summon the courage to make mistakes, to admit we were wrong, to be vulnerable, learn, grow, use your body, take the risk, use your platforms, connections, and join in the effort to eradicate evil and oppression. As Michelle Alexander declared in a recent New York Times Op-ed, “Our only hope for our collective liberation is a politics of deep solidarity rooted in love.” Everyone has to start somewhere. If you haven’t been doing the work until now, have remained silent, even though it’s past time to arrive, you/they/we are here now, and there is grace. White people, it is our work, to dismantle systems of oppression, speak up, speak out, and end white supremacy.

There is so much to say, so much to learn, so much emotion, so much to explore in such an interminable discussion, and lengthy effort. It makes it difficult to encapsulate in a blog entry (and makes for verbose writing, for which I thank you for your patience). I seek to learn, and do better in the effort to be anti-racist. Join. I am including links below to resources I have known, and continue to come across to learn, act, give, and other ways to support the movement for justice for Black Lives. It is not exhaustive, and I plan to keep adding to it as I find new ones. Let us all commit to educating ourselves to learn more about racial justice, to amplify voices and leaders of oppressed/marginalized groups in our writings, conversations, social media, and more. Let us make priority, substantive diversity, equity, and inclusion in the spaces we belong and are connected to. May we tap into what it means to be true activists who create substantial change.

“We have to be courageous to be antiracist…While many people are fearful of what could happen if they resist, I am fearful of what could happen if I don’t resist. I am fearful of cowardice. Cowardice is the inability to amass the strength to do what is right in the face of fear. And racist power has been terrorizing cowardice into us for generations.” -Ibram X. Kendi

Resist, disrupt, persist. Beloveds, continue the work…get to work. Grace, peace, and good courage.

Micah 6:8

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/08/opinion/george-floyd-protests-race.html

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EDUCATION:

These first two links are FULL of multiple resources (and they may take a few seconds to load):

1)https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PrAq4iBNb4nVIcTsLcNlW8zjaQXBLkWayL8EaPlh0bc/preview?fbclid=IwAR1rMFLBBchRGSsec8de1VhwXc6k-YBgG7eAPnK21si4RB-AspXhKlmz3ew&pru=AAABctmRdq8*6IrrTcWe5s9G-OrQTwh-aQ

2)https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/preview?pru=AAABcqSUIE8*GfY1Q3VCczacTFO5nQWXpQ

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/1619-america-slavery.html

https://www.nytimes.com/column/1619-project

http://www.avaduvernay.com/13th (Available on Netflix)

https://englewoodreview.org/antiracism-books-for-christians-a-reading-guide/?fbclid=IwAR1cxvmmQRx1nXmUNw29ilrB_lw2WTytx20LZl91uU6_8jdaSJGuABX2oLs

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2020/06/03/457251670/how-much-do-we-need-the-police

https://www.vox.com/2020/6/2/21278123/being-an-ally-racism-george-floyd-protests-white-people

https://www.tnqshow.com

https://eji.org/news/tragic-death-of-george-floyd-reveals-continuing-problem-of-police-violence/

–https://www.courtneyahndesign.com/illustration/guide-white-privilege

https://academicaffairs.ucsc.edu/events/documents/Microaggressions_Examples_Arial_2014_11_12.pdf

https://www.npr.org/2020/06/02/868025780/code-switch-a-decade-of-watching-black-people-die

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8sUwXTWb4M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrHIQIO_bdQ

I had to include this movie, because it was one that shaped my learning as a youth. I wrote a paper on it in my “Writing on Film” class in high school after viewing the film at age 15. It became indelible in my memory, the messages, the cinematography, my love for movies, and I’ve continued to follow Spike Lee and his spectacular work ever since. This article does a great service to recognizing the stellar achievements and complexities of the movie, it’s extant relevance, while also naming some cringe worthy elements (and calling out, thank you, the exploitation of female characters, something still problematic in cinema). https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/05/movies/do-the-right-thing-spike-lee.html

https://relevantmagazine.com/current/watch-the-creator-of-veggie-tales-explain-how-systemic-racism-works/?fbclid=IwAR1yVdxdNwL_MiJ9ORL4YwAnYuk5OPUOkv4N6BvMyNc9up1MG81Ao_A1Gb0

PARENTING:

https://www.npr.org/2020/05/31/866426170/raising-white-kids-author-on-how-white-parents-can-talk-about-race?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&fbclid=IwAR3oBycP01QZRWNOjM7S04KYHWbFbYCvfLktpqXYDiv5V5QedFWNG95ndgs

https://www.popsugar.com/family/kindergarten-teacher-explains-what-is-racism-video-47529956?fbclid=IwAR0WnB9OUkgu0fLFJoMRj_D_8fjbMo4UWgO8vgSgr9QjZpe0Ec5Vz_sMk0Y

https://centerracialjustice.org

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52220686-stamped?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=H8vAVncOb0&rank=2

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52535437-antiracist-baby?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=qIC0wo2VgV&rank=1

ACTION AND FURTHER RESOURCES:

https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org

https://soul2soulsisters.org

https://www.joincampaignzero.org

http://www.blacklivesmatter5280.com

https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd/psf/share?share_abi=1&message=perm_decline

https://www.change.org/p/andy-beshear-justice-for-breonna-taylor

https://www.runwithmaud.com

https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org

https://fundly.com/coloradofreedom

https://eji.org

https://officialblackwallstreet.com/directory/?fbclid=IwAR3chCYHyp5dky-bYYistgmI3GDbaTyQLQUWZQPhQGTK8sPGR35Y_S6KBiM

https://303magazine.com/2020/06/black-owned-businesses-denver/

http://mendozao.github.io/Resource-Generation-Map/app/index.html

I love how fog quiets the air
Thickens my breath
Softens the night, eases the morn
Effects a delay.
 
How fog quiets the air
Draws December night forests near
Muffling herded cities and suburbs
A reminder of pristine worlds of woods.
 
How fog quiets the air
Generates an echoing landscape
Where Nature rules and sings
In low and hushed tones.
 
How fog quiets the air
Hoods objects in a cold waft
Languidly it presents, and no matter where
Brings all winter affairs beside you.

How fog quiets the air 
Accompanies running to make it quite fun
Amplifies paced, snow-crunched steps
Tunes the energy of movement in muscle and mind.
 
How fog quiets the air
Like low brass and a soft settling
How it augments solitude;
A welcoming cloak of detachment.
 
I love how fog quiets the air
Yet suddenly you can clearly hear:
 
The way trees stand
The boldness of snowcapped mountain tops
Flocks of flyers relating their abundance
Fresh, delicate prints of creatures 
The cessation of wind
The sharpening of ice
The entrance of a season.

Yes, you can hear it; how fog quiets the air.
 
I love how fog quiets the air
A surprising weather of clarity 
It blankets interruptions
And makes all that is meaningful well known.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

A Poem:

Some days I am the jagged river rocks the water caresses,
Bold; a deceived, asperous gem resistant to water’s power.

Some days I am the water slowly changing the rock's form,
Patiently, secretly changing what the rock thinks is an unyielding anatomy.

Will it be countless years to shed layers that want to be forgotten?
Do they really want to be?

Some days I am the forgotten layers flowing in the river, 
Finding peace in the dispersed, shaved shards of what used to be. 

Rivers carry them. Rivers always carry them.

Pieces flow scattered, resting, surrendered sediment,
Gratefully confused because they don’t connect anymore.

Is this what time is? 

The gift of seeing my reflection in the waters that carry dispersed memories? 
Disaggregation?
Time, making them softer, year after year, impossible to force together again?

Reflection in the water. Earth elements hold the essence of my story in clouds and
Rain, in rivers and bird songs. 

Holy Stories. Human love and pain, Godly. A face viewing its reflection...among jagged rocks and water. 

Year after year, moment by moment. Jagged river rocks, the water, and the Sediment. 

I keep thinking about conversations I had with the beautiful people who stopped by the booth Calvary Baptist Church of Denver hosted at Pride Fest, Denver, 2019. The conversations were brief, but full. I took a shift midday Saturday with my daughter (who identifies as non-binary femme she/they and bisexual), representing CBC, a welcoming and affirming congregation, affiliated with AWAB, the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists. I am a congregant at CBC. I was ordained at CBC. Although I serve in ministry as a chaplain at a hospital, I also serve in ministerial roles on occasion at CBC. I wore one rainbow pin and stole, remembering with care, as best I could, that as a straight ally, I am in a space that doesn’t belong to me. I thought a lot about how difficult things have been recently, particularly for the LGBTQIA community.

One person reluctantly approached, understandably so. They told me they had just received a flyer a few minutes ago, by another “pastor” who was standing outside the gates of Pride Fest. (Hm. Outside the gates…) “It said I was going to hell for who I am,” they commented. I explained to them that that is not the message of the Gospel. I apologized to them for the hurt caused by a theology of shame. “We are all created in God’s image. You are Beloved, you are loved, just as you are,” I said. As I handed them some information, the responsive words, “Thank you” came out in a shaky whisper.

A couple of people were surprised we are a Baptist church, so I explained if churches claim the name, “Baptist” as it truly means, they would all be welcoming and affirming, not welcoming followed by, “but…”. Unfortunately, the phrase “religious freedom” which is a large part of the Baptist identity, is being used as an excuse to discriminate. I spoke of the broader message of Christ as one of liberation, a freedom from systems of oppression. Religious freedom as it is intended, means we are willing to stand by those whose freedoms are being suppressed, because as it is widely stated, none of us are free until all of us are free.

Some people inquired about the typical bible verses used to condemn them. I explained that the bible ought not be used as a tool to belittle others, and how that is offensive to the message of Christ. The Wisdom of the Sacred Text portrays, Wholly and Holy, a Love for all of humanity. Love, and the message of Jesus, is a lens through which we struggle and ultimately reconcile with difficult verses, sometimes used out of context, but moreover in fear, to hate and exclude. Sometimes this hate occurs blatantly. Other times, more insidiously, it is promoted under the guise of love and welcome, only to reveal itself as pretending to be loving, whether intentional or not. One person approached and said, “I used to go to church. Thanks for being a place that reminds me of a verse I memorized when I was little from 1 John 4, ‘Let us love one another for Love is from God.’” “Yes!” I responded enthusiastically while sharing about CBC’s community. They felt they had been too hurt by the Church to ever consider returning. Understandable. I told them I respected that.

One approached telling me they were atheist, and said, “I just want to shake your hand. Thanks for being this kind of church.” More people who identified as religious, and non-religious stopped by, all of whom offered words of gratitude. “I wish all churches were like this” one observed. I responded once to another atheist with, “Thanks for being one who questions, doubts, and values rationality. I have a similar spirit…” After all, “Open to All” means all- culturally and/or religiously…and more. One person told me she was a grandma to a transgender grandson. She said his mother wouldn’t come, so she brought him instead. She was so excited to know our church existed. I told her that her grandson was lucky to have her in his life. She said, “I’m lucky to have him.” There were so many inquiring hearts and minds, some from different religious backgrounds, others just curious about who we are as a church, some seeking advice on how to talk to relatives who are not willing to accept them, some simply adding pens to their pen collection from various booths, some just wanting to pet my Greyhound, Daisy adorned with a rainbow pride snood (created by my daughter) and buttons. Every single one of them welcome.

There were times of laughter and joy, and moments of deep despair. This year’s Denver Pride was a beautiful celebration of the expanse of gender identity and the vibrant colors of humanity. TBTG! At times I am convinced the Church will die, and in some ways, deservedly so. Yet I hope, in the recognition of such a need for community, that churches will find ways to change and be changed; that we may truly live into the call to repent, in the spirit of metanoia as it is written. May churches authentically welcome all, do the work of reconciliation, claiming through the Spirit of Christ’s radical inclusion, that yes, one can live into an identity of being Christian congruent with LGBTQIA identity. “Open to All; Closed to None.”

Check out CBC @ http://calvarydenver.org. “Calvary welcomes and affirms all people as children of God from every cultural and religious background, sexual orientation, family composition, physical and mental ability, economic means, race, age and gender.“

5 Years Ago Part II: It’s my 5 year ordination anniversary! Pentecost Sunday, June 8th, 2014, a few days after graduation (which was part I of my 5 Year Anniversary Thread of 2019), I was approved for ordination by the ABCUSA, and was ordained at and with the community of Calvary Baptist Church of Denver. As I reflect back, I ponder and share below two things along with some photographs: The Call to Worship, read by my Little (not so little anymore) Theologians, and how it continues to convey such desperation in today’s realities and injustices. (Give me/us strength…) And one of the two poems read by someone dear to me, Rita Berglund, which came from Jan Richardson’s book, In Wisdom’s Path (juxtaposed with the image I used on my bulletin). It sings words reflective of the paradoxical truths of life in ministry, and life in general. (May Wisdom continue to permeate Her Power.)

Five full, and fleeting years of ministry. At times, my pastoral authority has come into question by the ongoing problem of sexism and misogyny. At times, I have been heartbroken and broken open in sacred encounters, in the presence of suffering and death, in reflection upon our nation’s and our world’s flaws and failings. I have processed so much through journaling, and running. Snapshots of tender junctures in this ministry of presence have become part of my bones and dreams. At times I have been exhausted. At times I have been inspired, surprised, affirmed, and delighted. I continue to work on being a better ally, a better practitioner of forgiveness, and I am grateful for my mentors, colleagues, experiences, challenges, support systems, spaces of darkness and flickers of light, and all of my learning opportunities. I smile about how the one thing that might have kept me from being ordained (I used a theological “a” word in my ordination paper- a bit of a source of deliberation on the ordination board…) is still what keeps me drawn to this work and study. (I suppose the board made the appropriate decision…) That a-word “thing”, a theological frame of reference, that concept, is a part of me, and it’s one piece that makes me a good chaplain and deep thinker.

It is important to reflect back on one’s ordination anniversary, and I feel grateful to have Pentecost, the Feminine Fire and Windy Wisdom of this day, set forth and incessantly whirling, to be a part of that remembrance. It is a day of renewal, breath of Spirit, restoration, to form and reform, and receive again. I’m not sure the authenticity of ministry can thrive without these moments of fresh possibility and reconnection especially in times of hopelessness, woundedness, exhaustion, each witnessed and personally experienced. And so, I remember those ancient voices in the Book of Acts, the fresh voices of my children five years ago reading a call to reflect the justice, compassion, peace, and life-giving Essence of the One we are Inspired to reflect. Those ideals were woven into the call I reluctantly acquiesced to, but knew I could not ignore. And I recollect the poetic words of a poem and blessing which affirms Sacred Paradox even in the spectrum of emotions it contains. This ordination anniversary is to me an opportunity to be reminded of the connections, community, questions, and passions which brought me to that day five years ago, and continue the appeal: “Hold me fast, and set me free…”

Benediction

______

Call to worship from Sacraments and Seasons: Peacemaking Through Worship:

“In the midst of a world where people hunger and thirst…Come worship a God who feeds the hungry and calls upon us to do the same.

“In the midst of a world where people hunger and thirst…Come worship a God who feeds the hungry and calls upon us to do the same.”

“In the midst of a world where people are abused and oppressed…Come worship a God who calls for compassion and justice.”

“In the midst of a world filled with wars and rumor of war…Come worship a God who desires nothing less than peace for the world and calls us to be peacemakers.”

“In the midst of a world of spiritual emptiness… Come worship a God who gives life meaning, and calls us to walk with each other in community.”

“Come worship a God whose grace and love know no end.”

______

In my turning
and returning,
take me in
and let me go.

At the center
of the spinning,
root me deep
and set me loose.

At the still point
of the spiral,
draw me close
and set me forth.

In the passage
of the seasons,
hold me fast
and set me free.
~Jan Richardson

The following is a devotional I wrote for my church community’s Advent Season. We were asked to write using the theme of “Yes…and” which of course, I eagerly responded to, since the Sacred Both/Ands of life are a spiritual reality I find deeply meaningful, revealing, awakening, expansive, and full of grace, opposing the binary either/ors of myopic and fist-gripped ideologies.

I like to write things both heady, and things poetic and heartfelt. Writing in general, but especially sharing it, feels vulnerable. Sharing both the heady stuff, and heart-y stuff, takes courage, but the latter feels most vulnerable. I almost didn’t share this, not even with my own church community. But I thought about how little is shared about this aspect of parenting of which this devotional is about. Mostly, though, and this is the vulnerable piece, is that it is about me and my response to it.

I think there is a sense of isolation when parents send their kids off to college, or some other path of independent living. Where is everyone else who is doing this? Plus, we just don’t talk about the pain, grief, and sucker punch it is to the stomach. Sure, it isn’t the end of parenting, nor is it an end to the relationship, but it still hurts. It’s the beginning of what will likely be the lengthiest part of this relationship, where mentoring still occurs, support is still needed, but friendship flourishes, and joys materialize, seeing how our young adults are making an impact. Still, this is a threshold that is filled with wrenching emotion and grief. Deaths, literal and metaphorical, are worthy of grief, and sometimes celebration (of a life well lived, of freedom from suffering, etc.). Transitions are worthy of grief and celebration, too. Yes, it’s a celebration, my firstborn’s college matriculation, and it’s a grief- a surprisingly difficult one.

Where/who could I turn to after having just let the fledgling fly? There weren’t many options. So I decided to write and share this, like other brave mamas and papas have, in the hopes of adding another voice to the transition. Maybe it will help normalize the surprising feelings that are deeper than what we might have expected when we came to this stretching of wings. Parenting through adolescence into early adulthood is a messy and agonizing existence (can we please acknowledge how hard it is to raise teens, too?), and can feel especially lonely when those adolescent years are coupled with special needs. At times, I’d have given anything to go back to the infant, toddling, and terrible threes stages. Yet, I valued the budding shift (and admittedly loved it- I mean, now we could watch movies and shows I’d been waiting to introduce, we can have deeper conversations, I begin to learn from her in new ways, all while humbly realizing my generational fade of prominence)…and soon there will be the adult (ish) relationship we’ll have together. But, when we’re new at this, we have babies thinking this will be our life from now on. The diapers, the bedtime stories, extra curricular activities, birthday parties, school functions, summer lemonade stands…But oh, yeah!  That’s right…they do indeed become adults (after all, only about 1/4 of our average lifespan is in childhood…). But we don’t think much about that, do we? Becoming parents, our minds are more concerned with the short, less than two decades part of parenting, perhaps just the first decade of it! We know they’ll become teenagers, then adults, and go forth into the world, but when they do, we’re like, “Wait, what?! WTF just happened?!”

__________

 …I know I don’t possess you; with all my heart God bless you…” (lyrics excerpted from Abba’s 1976 tune, My Love, My Life)

Luke 2:48-50 “Why have you been searching for me?” 

My daughter, Taylor and I went to see the movie musical, Mama Mia 2: Here We Go Again, close to the time she was to leave for college. As the cast’s version of Abba’s 1976 tune, My Love, My Life played on screen, tears rolled down my face. The mother/daughter characters (Meryl Streep, Lily James, and Amanda Seyfried) sing reflecting on thresholds, including themes of new beginnings, letting go while holding on, reflecting on the past with an eye on things to come, trusting in things/loved ones unseen. If you haven’t heard the song, I highly recommend this version in particular! I added this song to Taylor’s, “Going to College Mixtape” playlist. (A mixtape will always be a mixtape, by the way, whether it’s on CD, digital, or not. I was blessed to grow up with the 80’s music/culture influence, and my kids know it. Just raising them right…)

I have recognized as Taylor is no longer a fledgling, how much of my identity as “Mom” was truly prominent. Even as we are told, and trust, at the dedication of our babies that yes, our children belong to God, and that they are ours for a season, nothing prepares one fully for this moment. Even as Jesus reminds us to trust in the steadfast enveloping Grace and Love of the Creator when he asks, “Why have you been searching for me?” I had devoured every article I could find about sending off your child to college as a way to prepare myself, and Taylor. I knew I needed to embrace this transition, and to let Taylor know that she was ready, and how excited I was for her. All the while, my insides were screaming, “Nope! Not true!” (Well, partly anyway.) Yes, I was excited for her, and I was grieving, and filled with wonder about her future, and mine. Yes, Taylor was ready and has been ready (she pretty much came out of the womb holding a book, and has taken that curiosity with her from day one)! And yet, she still has so much to learn (and so do I)! Yes, we were both confident, and filled with some trepidation.

Even though I had emphasized how important and exciting this phase in her life would be, I wanted to say, “Never mind. Forget all I ever said about how valuable the experience and education of college is. Don’t go. Stay home. We’ll just keep watching Gilmore Girls, while eating popcorn and ice cream.” But, alas, we saw her off, adorned in T-shirts and hats with her college logo, embracing the paradox of heartache and joy. Yes, I was feeling like my breath had been ripped out of me, and I was taking in deep breaths of courage, a new courage, earned through 18 years of bearing, comforting, listening, laughing, supporting, advocating, allying, encouraging, balancing, and recognizing how much I had learned from her. Yes, she would continue to write her unique and Sacred Story, and oh, what an addition it was, is, and will be, to the Library of Life. And, in all of that, I will still be her mama.

I will still be her mama. I will always be her mama.

It was a special moment. I have pondered many a time (and written about it before as well), the aspect of being in total fullness of both capability and becoming, all in one moment…every moment, really. And here in this moment, I am reminded of that precious both/and again in this very phase of parenting. How remarkable, that every phase of parenting and childhood, ours and theirs (or any phase in one’s life), is a fullness in and of itself right in the moment. Yes, fully capable, and yet, fully becoming. Imagine if we paused to breathe in that reality more often. I am enough, and I am becoming. This phase is what it fully is, and will become even more. This is my daughter, and this is me. This is all of us, whatever phase we’re in. Enough, True, and Becoming.

A quote to meditate/pray with: “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” -Havelock Ellis

Spoiler Alert! Link to Mama Mia’s version of My Love, My Life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk254EyXLYA

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Note: It has now been half the school year with Taylor off to college. She’s only 45 minutes away, but the distance is meaningless. She’s still not in her room making it her goal to cover as much of the floor as possible with anything and everything. Her room, her space that was hers from the day we moved in when she was four, the room where we now try to keep the door closed to avoid heating a room unused. (Unless the dog wants in. Daisy misses her, too.) She’s still not coming to the table for dinner, I quickly realize as I do an about face with the placemat in hand I was about to set for her. She’s still not bursting out with laughter causing me to smile, even when we were in separate rooms. She’s still not interjecting her fresh, learned, and well grounded wisdom about the topics holding attention in our current events, sprinkled with puns, wit, and humor. I only get to be wowed from a distance now by her artistry, her crafty use of words, her stunning sense of style, her growing knowledge, her beautifully strong sensitivity, her tender compassion, her fiery heart for justice…I only get to comfort her from afar now when her anxiety grips her, as she navigates relationships, buys groceries, makes appointments, and pins on the “badge” of every adult’s vexation: filling out forms…But it does feel a little more manageable, accepting her college life away from home. My heart still aches when I take her back from a holiday break, but at least now I don’t full out weep all the way home. Yet within the heartache, and maybe a few tears still, I’m grateful and proud. Both/And. Thanks be to God.

 

 

When my daughter was a senior, I received a handout from the school stating that if I didn’t wish for military recruiters to contact my daughter, I would need to sign the paper, otherwise it would be assumed to happen. I immediately thought it should be the other way around. (Sign only *if* you want your child to be contacted.) But, it’s just one more easy way to depend on the odds a parent will forget, or a child would lose the paper, or that parents would read the letter and recognize it as an unusual, or less common response to make the extra effort to sign it. It wasn’t included in the beginning of the year electronic documents; how convenient. But here it was, the casual first glance into how to move into our young people’s developing minds and begin the psy-ops of recruitment. And make no doubt about it, it is a sophisticated psychological operation that begins outside the realm of the actual training, and it starts with our youth, newly on the threshold of becoming who they will be in the world…

My partner and I have and will discourage our children to enlist in the military. We have one adult child, and one new high schooler. As adults, they will make more of their own choices, but as l long as I have the obligation as a parent of deep faith to raise them, I refuse to encourage or allow space for my own children, let alone another generation of young people, to be sent off to kill and die in bloodbaths of unending, hopeless wars and battles around the globe. I don’t want them to play any role in the military, direct or indirect, in such an endeavor. The ongoing wars we have currently are perpetual, and for no reason that is rooted in love and goodness, but rather by interests benefiting power. We have to teach our children how to say no, but we don’t often think that would be relevant when it comes to military recruiters. Indeed, it does. I will teach my children to say no to the well organized military recruitment (propaganda) machine preying upon vulnerable, malleable minds, waving the stars and stripes, calling it a patriotic duty to fight only to be pawns in the military industrial congressional complex. I remain unconvinced that it is worth one dime of benefit for even an ounce of risk of trauma. No, not in a country that has billions of dollars for bombers, but people with no financial means to pay burdening hospital bills. It is not a free ticket to college, or a job training program alone. It is, as it boils down to its bottomline, and fundamental mission, a job to fight and win wars…to train to kill and risk being killed, and injured for that matter, physically or psychologically. No matter what the MOS, no matter what the path, the bottom line is the ultimate point. So, yes, I have, and will sign the documents my children receive from their schools refusing recruiters from contacting my children, knowing they may covertly guilt trip them into “being independent” rather than relying on the money we saved specifically for their post secondary education plans. I will stand against the militarization and intrusion of recruitment when there are many more peaceful, viable ways to succeed in life without it, than to take on a role of a system bent on power, might, and othering. Our youth, no matter how well they are convinced, do not need the military to succeed in life.

I am married to a veteran who spent 10+ years in the Army and Army National Guard on top of three years and counting in volunteer service with the Civil Air Patrol, and has spent his career in law enforcement. He has talked with me about the painful reality of knowing his role individually, as honorable as it may be, and the role of the agencies as entireties he struggles to reconcile his life calling with. I pray daily for his heart, and his health, all of which have been damaged by such experiences and turmoil, even as he sees the benefits he had to make the best of…even as he has strived to be a light in dark places. He knows he has my support. I am a Christian who believes deeply in the message of peace, and that living into the not yet involves a clinging to the hope that one day, we will fulfill the prophecy, so impossible to see, of Is. 2:4. I believe we must be able and willing to criticize the systems (and see beyond their promises) that perpetuate war and violence, even as we love and support those who are in it (and one could argue we all are in one way or another). So many have made sacrifices with their lives and health to serve in the military. I even pondered myself at one time how I might follow a calling in chaplaincy with the Air Force, as a way to provide presence for the struggles our soldiers indeed endure in the complexity of the government they are accountable too, as well as what they witness. I have friends, family, as we all do, whom we love, hold dear, and honor for their service and sacrifice. But we should not be blind to the larger complexity that is this nation’s military complex. The entanglement of realities within these realities are part of what makes being human such a challenge. But, God is with us, soldier or not. Might I have felt differently in the 1940’s? Perhaps. But Dwight D. Eisenhower was correct when he stated in 1961, “In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.” Indeed it has. Eisenhower also said formerly, “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.”

I have become aware, partly because of the very nature of my identity as a follower of Christ, of the dangers of American nationalism, militarism, and imperialism that hold us captive to a patriotism of loyalty to country over others, loyalty to country above faith- when that faith is blended into a false loyalty to God through American Glory, fooling groups of Christians into thinking their patriotism of nationalism is somehow ordained by God. (Think 4th of July celebrations in churches.) Such a justification is often noted by a misinterpretation of Romans 13. Context would help us more wisely discern that it is not the case. God does not insist upon our complete obedience to government. A deeper understanding reveals that it is rather the case that no government is ever given a moral endorsement by God, and that in reality, governments as independent agencies, do indeed waver from their calling. Context in Romans 12 reminds us of the call to not be conformed to the ways of the world. It is not in suffering of war that we triumph over evil, but it is suffering by Love that we do. (See John Howard Yoder’s book, “The Politics of Jesus”.) Jesus was a visionary. His vision was social, and political, resistant, but it was not violent. Jesus taught about and embodied one of the most sacred words and actions ever spoken and implemented: mercy.

This is how we try, and fail, as humans to live into Christ’s calling to give up our own desires. It is only human to be drawn into the deception of a winning culture and power through what’s rationalized as “acceptable” violence in the name of country, or in the name of what will benefit “me”. But Jesus has another vision. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a Christian soldier, and other soldiers of faith in war, to hold the tension of recognizing individuals as human, beloved in God’s eyes, while also opposing, possibly, a system of evil those individuals represent. Yet, it would behoove us, and them, to look in the mirror at the evil atrocities the U.S. has perpetrated under the guise of “discovery” and “freedom”. How does a soldier also recognize that they, too, just might be an agent of something rooted in evil and conquest, even if they have been ingrained to think otherwise. (And that’s the point- to be sure they don’t recognize it.) How are we, too, even as civilians, complicit? It’s a complex, messy endeavor that ultimately, I do not want my children to be part of as members of the military. But we should continue to question, reevaluate, and seek better ways of peace. Impossible? Unrealistic? Again, I note that Jesus was a visionary. Visionaries, as I have heard quoted, see what’s not here yet. A visionary strives to look beyond the myopic field of vision which systems of oppression, power, and violence depend upon.

The great Martin Luther King Jr. opposed war from a Christian perspective. His colleague, Dr. Vincent Harding who helped draft King’s speech, “Beyond Vietnam” revealed this about the speech, “I feel very strongly that the speech and his unflinching role in expressing and organizing opposition to the war—and to the foreign and domestic policy it represented—as well as his ineluctable movement toward the call for nonviolent revolution in the U.S., were among the major reasons for his assassination…” Harding also asked the imperative questions, “What does it mean to take seriously this whole idea that our national identity is secondary to our spiritual identity, and has to come under the scrutiny of our spiritual identity? What does it do to the Christian faith when we recognize that our community began in a setting where most [early believers] were outcasts from the empire’s power? What does it mean when the Christian community now identifies itself with the empire, apologizes for the empire, and goes to war along with the empire?”

What will the “sword of the spirit” clear away to reveal how we should endeavor to live into the process of peace and bringing about the Beloved Community? How will we act to live into the far off biblical prophecy in Isaiah of “neither will they learn war no more”? Dr. Vincent Harding called upon us to enter the process. Soldiers need our support, and they deserve our respect. But we can, and should, be mindful of, aware of, and critical of the complexities and motives of the systems within they/we operate. Agencies of war, especially as a system that depends on the pliability of youth, do not fall very cleanly into entering the process of peace, wholeness, and essentially, what it means to be free.

There is a place to discuss biblical interpretation, and a time to have discussion around differences in belief and hermeneutics. Careful exegesis will bring about a more meaningful and sound understanding. And then there is a time to call out what is a disgraceful, downright blasphemous use of something sacred to justify something inhumane, cruel, and sinful.

As an ordained person in ministry, I cannot remain silent about what was stated today. For Jeff Sessions to use words from Paul’s letters to insist that taking children away from their parents is “rooted” biblically, is a disgrace and an affront to Jesus himself and all that is Christlike. It is uninformed. It is uninformed as well for Sanders to reference laws in the bible as a defense of Sessions’ statement. Having laws in place that benefit society is one thing, but there is nothing biblical about enforcing *unjust* laws and oppressive practices excused as “law and order”. Jesus would be the first to choose compassion and mercy, even in the face of leadership shouting about laws in his ears. Jesus would never stand by any child at the border being ripped away from their parents because of “law”.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Matthew 22:40. Why? Because it is almost as important as the ones preceding it in 37-39. 37 “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Verse 40 often gets overlooked, and given what was atrociously stated by Sessions and Sanders today, this is essential: On these two commandments hang ALL the law and the prophets. All. ALL. “All the law and the prophets.” In other words, it is using the lens of Christ and the radical message of love, mercy, and compassion that gives us the wisdom to know better when something doesn’t align with 37-39. What is more important than our belief systems around scripture is that we *live* according to the teaching of Christ. Every word in the bible and beyond must be filtered through those two commandments. If it is not aligned, as verse 40 instructs, it is not of God. Sessions and Sanders spoke today in direct opposition to the Gospel. And so, let us respond in the spirit of:

Dtr. 10:18-19

Mt. 25:31-46

Lk. 4:16-21

Eph. 2:11-22

Is. 10:1

Mt. 25:43

Lk. 10:37

And many more…

A Christmastide Thought: 


The somber and violent reality of the Coventry Carol is haunting, yet the musical phrases end in important resolutions emblematic of light and hope- for a reason, I believe. Listen for it in the tune. Listen for it in the world. How should we move from dissonance to consonance? What part do we play? The Holy Innocents were killed by the same interests that would later bring about the death of Jesus, with similar intent- to stop the birth of any hope that the world may be transformed. Who is birthing such hope today? It cannot be stopped. More than a memorial, these little ones represent the shunned, the silenced, those trying to prevent their seeds from taking root. Remember the victims, but remember who failed: a tyrant’s rage and power. Seeds were planted anyway, and still are now. Especially now. That power, while seemingly unstoppable, is doomed. The baby lives; birthing continues, seeds are taking root deeply, the dissonance will not last. How relevant. Mt. 2:13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wit-jGD4wCw