Two Things Can Be True at Once

A vile, horrific assassination occurred on 9/10. It is an act that should never happen to anyone. And, Charlie Kirk’s unjustified murder does not erase his harmful legacy. We can grieve his awful, unacceptable murder, and refuse to venerate a person who sowed seeds of hate. We can acknowledge the image of God created in every person, including Charlie Kirk, and we can lament Kirk’s own lack of love in many of his words that perpetuated a harmful ideology; a refusal to live into that Divine Image.

There were basically two different kinds of church services happening across the country this past Sunday. One that I know of, had a giant screen with an American flag and a large picture of Charlie Kirk, and the preacher spoke uncritically about the (mythical) founding of this country as being a “Christian Nation” and then suddenly the service became a political rally/soft launch for a “ministry leader” Victor Marx, whose highest level of education is a high school diploma, and who also wants to run for governor. (That is not to demean anyone who doesn’t have more than a high school education; it is meant to question his qualifications for a high political office, and in ministry. But we shouldn’t be surprised given who is currently in the White House.) On the other hand, other churches were making statements abhorring the political assassination of Charlie Kirk while being honest about the racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, cruel legacy he leaves behind. Kirk’s death overshadowed another school shooting that happened on the same day. Yet, some white evangelical churches in America Sunday morning chose to have their own memorial/political campaign/idol worship services of Charlie Kirk, instead of, oh, I don’t know, what some other churches were doing: Lighting candles for children harmed by bullets. Praying for all victims of gun violence. Denouncing the unacceptable act of political violence that killed Kirk, while preaching the truth about his harmful legacy, and calling all of us to examine our own souls, lest we become part of the problem. Maybe holding spaces to process and grieve, and discuss. Holding sessions for advocacy to end gun violence after church. (I attended the CFCU meeting in Colorado yesterday afternoon. Check out their website here):

https://www.cfcu-co.org/

Imagine the parents of schoolchildren in CO who fought for their lives in hospitals, who were traumatized by, yet again, another school shooting, while flags are being flown half staff for a man who spent his life inciting violence, spewing hate, and tragically and ironically dying by the very gun violence he believed we should tolerate for a “god given” second amendment right. Imagine the silence if the shooting in UT had been of students, and not Charlie Kirk. While more is unknown about motive, it is evident that both shooters in both these cases were not “radical left lunatics” even as MAGA would have us believe otherwise. And the VPOTUS made a propagandist statement today, lying about Kirks words, making dangerous false claims, and blaming the left. Reading the dog whistle of his own dangerous rhetoric should have all of us deeply concerned. It is a projection, because the past decade has been largely dominated by right wing political violence and incitement.

America’s veneration of white supremacy is a disappointing, but an unsurprising response to the assassination of Charlie Kirk. My stomach has been turning all week as I see flags flown half staff for the death of one who’s life legacy was racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, misinformation, exclusion, and manipulation of young people while using Christianity and the Bible to justify it (often with flawed theology, and anti-anything close to Christlike). Kirk was not an elected leader. He was not even really an “activist” as some have described him. He had a podcast. He.had.a.podcast. Kirk, a college drop out, who often debated students younger than him, and rarely participated in actual debate settings (and when he did, usually lost), has been touted as an excellent debater. But the problem is, people may see him as a skilled debater because he had tactics to redirect, talk over, and overwhelm the other with multiple topics, even as such topics lacked accuracy. But such tactics do not make him right about what he was arguing. To be correct, one would need to substantiate their arguments. Kirk didn’t do that, but it didn’t matter if the perception was that he “won” because he was loud and could misquote lots of bible verses.

What is also disappointing but unsurprising is the way some of my social media contacts/friends/family have been defending him and sharing videos about Kirk from their silos that make him out to be a good Christian, a good man, etc. I can see how one would think that, if all they see about him comes from the Fox News Entertainment channel and the like. We are seeing the massive impact of disinformation and control of the masses we’ve been warned about for almost a decade, and now even more loudly. Kirk was part of that very endeavor- the propaganda that pushes young people, especially young white men, into far right pipelines, and makes them believe they are the persecuted. This whole thing is and always has been, the twisting of patriotism, tradition, and freedom into white nationalism, misogyny, and authoritarianism. 

I was the recipient of vitriol and derogatory words this week when I spoke the truth about Kirk. A MAGA hat wearing acquaintance called me “a fucking joke” before he blocked me so I couldn’t respond. He proves my point about the violence and cowardice of MAGA, sadly reinforcing the very behaviors and rhetoric that perpetuate such harm and violence, and ironically, about what they are seemingly mad about- the violence used against Kirk…right? Make it make sense. I realize cruel words are on the opposite spectrum of murder, and yet I know part of what fuels violence…

Charlie Kirk was assassinated. It was vile, horrific, and we should be angry at the loss of ANY life at the hands of guns. But no one should be expected to mourn his life, and some people have good reason not to. While no one deserves to be murdered, we can also acknowledge that while his death was awful, it does not negate that his life’s work was awful, too. As Rev. Dr. Howard-John Wesley said in his sermon this Sunday, “There is nowhere in the Bible where we are taught to honor evil; and how you die does not redeem how you lived. You don’t become a hero in death, when you are a weapon of the enemy in life.” See a longer excerpt of his sermon here:

Kirk is a man who spent his life and money spreading hate. He normalized it, justified it, and took God’s name in vain by using Christianity to defend it. And just like the current administration and its ilk are rewriting history, they are controlling the narrative around Kirk’s death, whitewashing his comments, and calling him an American hero. His is not. He is a white supremacist. It is precisely why Tr*mp put out a quick public comment blaming the “radical left” without any evidence, with no suspect in custody, no motive. It is exactly why Republican Nancy Mae said, “The Democrats own this” and lied with derogatory words that the shooter was “tranny or pro-tranny” before she knew any facts. It’s why Stephen Miller is quick to project everything he represents on to the left and to call for attacks on the left in Kirk’s name. It is dangerous, and pathetically irresponsible. The truth is, and this has been researched, studied, and well documented, that the threat of domestic terrorism, which is indeed the biggest threat to America, is drastically more of a threat from the right. (49.9% of motivations for political violence come from right wing/white supremacist ideologies. 22.9% is leftist. The gender is 77% male and 0.8% gender nonconforming, and 55.66% white. 76% of politically motivated deaths have been committed by the far right. The far left? 4%.)

Remember when Tr*mp said it would be a “waste of time” to call the family of Representative Hortman and instead began disparaging the Gov. of MN? (He also responded with, “Who?” When a member of the press questioned his drastically different response to Kirk’s assassination vs. his revealing lack of action toward her, her husband’s and their dog’s?) Recall the silence about Hortman’s right wing killer/political violence? Were flags flown half staff for Hortman? Are flags ever flown for children who die in school shootings?

Additionally, can we stop conflating racism and hate with “political opinion”? Having discussions about taxes and how to regulate guns, or address corporate environmental impact, who would be best to support during elections, those are political opinions. Saying Black people were better off in slavery, that MLK Jr was “awful” and “not a good person” and that the Civil Rights Act shouldn’t have been passed, is not only dangerous, but simply racist. We need to separate what we do about governance, from the dangerous extremism of dehumanization, and inciting violence. One is about political opinion, the other is about hate. The selective rage is simply yet another indicator that it’s all about white supremacy. We must speak out against the false narrative about Kirk’s legacy as one of goodness and righteousness, and be honest, even when we are falsely accused of being intolerant, about Kirk’s cruel legacy.

I am troubled by those who defend Kirk, especially those who all themselves Christian. How do they reconcile these verified comments he made with anything good, or Christian? Click the link:

https://zeteo.com/p/charlie-kirk-in-his-own-words

We must refuse to glorify hate. We must respond, in the wake of ALL gun violence, with action. We also need time to process. We can pray. But it is not an excuse for inaction. I have included an excerpt below from the prayer I lead on Sunday. Right before Kirk was killed, his words were words of transphobia and racism. May our words, our legacy, and the seeds we plant, be ones of hope, love, peace, and justice. 

Galatians 6:7

___

Prayer:

“Breathe in:

The world is loud.”

“Breathe out:

I listen to my voice.”

“Breathe in:

This is too much to hold.”

“Breathe out:

So we hold it together.”

“Breathe in:

I keep my soul honest.”

“Breathe out:

I stay near to myself.”

“Breathe in:

To love and be loved.”

“Breathe out:

My purpose remains.”

-Selected Breath Prayers by Cole Arthur Riley

__

God of shared tears:

In response to violence we lament, and wonder how to navigate all that is so heavy, devastating and contentious. Our lives have, once again, been impacted by the relentlessness of this country’s unique problem of gun violence, including yet another school shooting, and one that happened in our home state here in Colorado. Grant your peace and comfort to those injured, either by bullets or in the trauma of such a horrific event. We grieve with all of those affected by gun violence. We confess our anger and frustration at the endless cycle of this specific violence, and we weep remembering all of the lives lost to weapons of war that have flooded our communities. We are tired by those in power who work to prevent any real change. Help us to see our feelings and reactions as your movement in us to rise and work for advocacy and action.

And God, remind us that it is possible to speak out against murder, to hold compassion for those who witnessed the vile assassination in UT this week, and for the friends and family of the deceased, while being honest about the harmful legacy the deceased leaves behind, and all the while, especially standing firmly with those targeted by his cruelty and harmful rhetoric. 

Help us to interrogate our own hearts, lest we adopt the same tools of those who oppress, and spread hate. May we have the courage to recognize and dismantle anything about our faith that supports white supremacy, nationalism, engages in dehumanization, justifies violence, exploits others, and defends empire. May we find the strength to follow Jesus’ incredibly difficult call to love our enemies, but to understand truly what that means- not to overlook or excuse harm, but in ways that dismantle violent systems that create enemies in the first place, to resist oppression, to love in ways that allow us to be transformed and to transform. Be with us as we wrestle with the tension and nuance of decrying any death at the hands of guns, while feeling angry about the culture and people that breed the very violence wrongly justified and used against others, and of which they can also become the victims of themselves. 

Also, God, we name the exhaustion and sadness over ongoing violence in Gaza, Congo, Sudan, Ukraine. We grieve the ongoing demonization and terrorizing of immigrants. We grieve how division, selective outrage, and media inundation overshadows the cries of the marginalized. Draw us closer to you and to each other. Grant us wisdom and hope in all of the hopelessness. 

As we move into the theme of our church year, “Cultivating the fruit of the spirit”, we recognize this fruit seemingly calling to us; a rising reminder in times like these: Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self Control. Manifest these bits of fruit-wisdom in all that we say and do as ones who seek to live out the gospel. Make us instruments of your peace. 

We now join together in praying the prayer Jesus taught us, a prayer that reminds us of our sacred belonging- to God, to one another, and to the work of creating beloved community, we pray: Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. ~Amen

A 4th of July Reflection

Patriotism: Grief and Resilience

❤️🤍💙 If you are grieving today on this 4th of July, 2025, you are not alone, and your grief is a sign of your genuine patriotism as one who deeply cares about “liberty and justice FOR ALL” and whose “love of country” isn’t a bastardized phrase used to exclude and harm. The passing of the deadly, big ugly bill signed today by a petty king-wannabe, isn’t reflective of freedom, it is cruel, intentional class warfare that rips independence from those whom Jesus stood with and gives more of it to those whom Jesus rebuked. It took courage to sign the Declaration of Independence in the face of tyranny, and today, we summon similar courage in the face of another tyrannical government, and we will continue the struggle toward liberation where until we are all free, none of us is.

Tonight, my partner, JohnE and I went to the movie theater to avoid the PTSD-inducing noise from our war-zone sounding neighborhood. When we got home, it was unfortunately still going strong and didn’t end until midnight. Our cats were hunched down in worry. Our dog pretty much snoozed through it all thankfully, in the comfort of his crate, but I felt sad for all the pets and wild animals, the environment, and the anxious. I don’t mind sparklers, fountains, and parades, but I bemoan that some feel the only way to celebrate is to be the most loud, obnoxious, illegal, and inconsiderate. I can’t not think about those in literal war zones, and feel a discord in the midst of fireworks that mimic bombs, made “pretty”. I recall my childhood days of streamer covered bicycles and flag waving parades in the park, and driveway sparklers and fountains finished by 10pm, our tummies full of homemade ice cream.

Today, in 2025, our family: this veteran, this chaplain (who was on call, and worked today), and this MSW student, stand in solidarity with the vulnerable, and the resonant aching hearts of Americans who so deeply care about equity, community, justice, safety, human rights, and access to resources that all people deserve. It is true patriotism to call out injustice, speak hard truths, and grieve the callous indifference of those in power, and those who either ignorantly, or willfully cheer it on. We will rise up and continue the work to make real the vision of an America who uplifts the WE (meaning ALL) in We the People, even though her current leaders strip away rights and trample on the constitution. While we grieve the deadly bill that is a vicious theft from the poor and hard working humans, and a massive emboldening of a terrorizing agency against immigrants, and a greedy, grotesque overflow funneled up to the rich, while it is being sold with lies to make us believe otherwise, we also celebrate the larger make-up of America: the one of resilience, the communities of care, the “good trouble” makers, the true patriots marching in the streets, the woke and the wise, who continue to serve in ways that matter, and who won’t ever give up making the word a better place, bringing about liberation, and being accountable to the “truths we hold…”

Isaiah 10:1-2

Matthew 25:40

Profits and Prophets

“Between the Christianity of this land, and the Christianity of Christ, I recognize the widest possible difference.” -Frederick Douglass

“A poem cannot stop a bullet. A novel can’t diffuse a bomb. But we are not helpless. We can sing the truth and name the liars.” -Salman Rushdie

A blog entry can’t stop a bullet or war, either. But here I am, writing, because I must. I write from a lens of a follower of Christ. Take what resonates, release what doesn’t from your own spiritual identities.

Are we “great” yet?

Will we ever learn?

I remember visiting the Museum of Nuclear Science and History in Albuquerque NM last summer, and seeing the massive Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM), weighing in at 71,000 tons, labeled, “Peacekeeper MX”. Of course, it was used as a deterrent. But I would suggest there is something missing if we cannot notice, and at least grapple with, the oxymoron of such a combination. Peace…true peace, cannot co-exist with bombs. You cannot pretend peace is “power through strength” if that definition of strength involves violence. I know we live in the realities of war and evil. I am not suggesting passivity, but I endeavor to live into a different power, the one Jesus calls us to, not the army of “Christian” soldiers you marched to in a summer bible camp game with creepy song lyrics. It is not the peace during the Reagan years in which evangelical churches literally prayed for a small ICBM multi-entry vehicle, a missile with 4 warheads for selective targets. (Ask my partner about that experience growing up…) The peace Jesus calls us to is a peace that is not deceitful, pretending to be “strength” but it is that of true peace, the one that “begins with me” the one that “begins with a smile” the one that reminds us of belonging, the one that comes out of authentic awareness of who we are, peace as the “means by which we arrive” to lofty goals, the peace of “generosity….and dynamism”, the one that works for justice, not retribution, the calmness of heart in the midst of chaos, the breath of Jesus who embodied peace in ways that defy our learned, defensive behavior to turn to violence, or sit frozen in fear. (Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein, Oscar Romero, Eckhart Tolle, Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus Christ…) Perhaps a utopian dream, but the peacemakers Jesus called blessed were not the ones like those sitting in oval offices laced with gaudy smatterings of golden trinkets, and preachers who declare such blessings with their hand on the one who would deport Jesus if he set foot in the U.S., who drops bombs in part to get in on the media attention.

There is not a lot we can be certain of, but when assessing the things that cause suffering in this nation, most of the time, we can be certain they are rooted in one or both of the following: capitalism and white supremacy. The actions that exploit and harm for profit in the industrial complexes of militarism, criminal injustice, war, power, and greed, are cogs in the oppressive, trampling wheels upon human lives and this precious planet’s destruction. The phony passion for violence and profit pretending to be patriotism has serious consequences Jesus would turn tables over. You know who should be the table-turners now? Us. We are the hands and feet of Christ.

In the midst of so much we cannot be certain of, we can be in wonder about the biblical prophets who spoke poetically, with a call for transformation, and to courage. Moral courage. They did not speak with false power. Peace is rooted in courage. The courage of peacemakers, not warmongers. Those prophets of old and their poetry cannot be reduced to ideology. Those prophets also remind us that we would be remiss to avoid the brokenness that is real, rather than denying it in order to focus on triumph and prosperity. Prophets in the Bible, they rose up and imagined a different world. “I am about to do a new thing, do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old, I am about to do a new thing, do you not perceive it?” -Isaiah 43:19. Notice how such a call to a moment of consideration is about the present. Prophecy is not fortune telling. It is truth telling. It is imagination, and creativity. The flaw and poor influence of the popular book series, “Left Behind” got it wrong. The power of prophecy lies in calling out what needs to change, what must be critically examined, and how we should get in the way of cycles that repeat and perpetuate exploitation, violence, and neglect. We see the misguided use of images of lions as representation of a “kingly Jesus” (of which Jesus would decry, for Christ is not of empire), where Christian nationalist exceptionalism pretends to care about Jewish people, when in reality, they portray a superficial pretense for their own salvation at the expense of Jews. Their allegiance to such a flawed eschatology is actually characteristic of antisemitism, which they claim to stand against. They continue to turn a blind eye, or even support belligerence toward Palestinians, ethnic cleansing, and colonialism. Jesus weeps.

I have struggled to find words, or perhaps effective responses for the wrath of evil we are seeing unfold in such a heightened manner under the Tr*mp dominance administration of oppressive power. To blog about it and try to keep up would mean multiple entries every.single.day. in order to keep up! (And some people are doing just that, God be with them!) Admittedly, the overwhelm has prevented me from doing so lately. But I know I am defeated if I do not try. That’s what they want- to overwhelm us to acquiescence. I refuse. Yet, Tr*mp is but a boil in the stench of a cesspool of colonialist, exploitative, false-power that is this country’s long, brutal history. And the infrastructure that brought us to this point will not go away when Tr*mp is gone. It could even produce worse, given that Tr*mp is so flagrantly unintelligent and incompetent with little to say but all-cap lies, and word salad speeches topped with disinformation, off-the-cuff “dumb-assery” and all of the incessant nonsense social media posts in between. (As my firstborn would say in response, “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”) He is reckless and reactive, and his narcissism will be the death of us all. If his speeches ever make any amount of “sense”, albeit still riddled with cruelty, we can be fairly sure it’s white nationalist Stephen Miller speaking/writing instead, even though he likes to throw in all-cap rants as well. We should be even more concerned over his puppet-master manipulation of Tr*mp (as well as Putin and Netanyahu’s) as he implements his dream of what MAGA truly means: white supremacy, conceited, consolidated power, and greed. Tr*mp may not be stupid, but he was dumb enough to fall into dictator’s hands while he aspires to be one.

Tr*mp’s egomaniacal decision, as are many of his decisions, to drop bombs on Iranian nuclear development sites, isn’t about protection or “peace”. His social media posts have been a continuous barrage (no pun intended) of grandstanding, reflective of how dangerous it is to have a fickle narcissist in charge. After all, Tr*mp is the one who, in his first term, killed the JCPOA even though it was working (with which Obama patiently negotiated- because it takes time and hard work to engage in diplomatic negotiations- imagine that). But Tr*mp’s desire to pretend he is a success and savior, to try to take ownership, argued it was “bad”. (You know, like insisting Biden’s rescued and thriving economy is his, while he seeks to destroy it and later blame it on his adversaries. His favorite go-to in lack of accountability: the banal blaming of Biden…) And of course, predictably, Iran began uranium production again. And make no mistake, Tr*mp’s ego-based dominance, pretending his “brilliant” decision to bomb Iran (which with what we know so far, was largely unsuccessful in destroying anything of significance, while costing tax payers around $45 million), is textbook narcissism. And now, there is an even higher risk that Iran will be emboldened to in fact develop a nuke in the aftermath. Tr*mp and his ilk like to say they are bringing “peace” but it’s not about true peace, especially the peace that Christ blesses in his sacred words, “Blessed are the peacemakers”. It is rather for profit, whether it is financial stakes in companies invested in ongoing violence, war, prison/detainment centers, and gun manufacturing, or the profit of hubris. It is not the true strength of doing the hard work of patience, connection, discussion, community, humility, integrity, empathy, and bridge building. Tr*mp wants the focus on him, to have his ego stroked, and does so through distraction- an ongoing carrot-dangling to either please his sycophants and base, or to get us to forget his tyrannical behavior and utter failures. To act as if bombing Iran was only at war with their nuclear program is gaslighting we will not tolerate. Dropping bombs is an act of war. What his premature decision to bomb Iran’s nuclear building sites is about, has to do with other things in opposition of protection, peace, and diplomacy.

It also comes of no surprise, that in the midst of adding fuel to the fire and risks of escalation, that the SCOTUS lifted a lower court ruling that prevented the Tr*mp administration from deporting migrants to countries that aren’t even their places of origin. That move, by a court that has been usurped by Tr*mp loyalists, elevates fear of violence perpetrated against immigrants here, and in lands they could be sent to. In addition, it is yet another weakening of democracy. It erodes even further, a fundamental principle: that of due process. As Justice Sotomayor wrote in her dutiful dissent, joined by Justices Kagan and Jackson: “The government has made clear in word and deed that it feels itself unconstrained by law, free to deport anyone anywhere without notice or an opportunity to be heard.” There is more money to be made in government contracts with prisons and detention centers, and inhumane realities will rise within them. Even as such immoral practices have and will continue in the U.S. (i.e. Florida’s new detention center- more on that soon), it would behoove us to recall the way historical dictators shipped off human beings to places outside their own country to avoid accountability for the violence they would endure…

Every aim of the FOTUS (no, that’s not a typo; what should we expect when a 34x convicted felon is in charge?), is to consolidate power, and undermine democracy, which with war there, will provide even more leverage to harm us here. So, while the escalation with Iran has its own worrisome risks for many, it is also a rising risk for the United States’ ability to prevent authoritarian, tyrannical rule. Tr*mp’s declaration for “National Emergencies” has been at a record high among presidents, and we’re only 6 months into this fiasco! It is an excuse to deregulate important protections in place, to evade congressional approval, impose idiotic tariffs, and override state officials who are saying no to the administration’s federalizing of the National Guard and troop deployments in our own cities. And while domestic terrorism is the biggest threat to America (most recently evident in the largely ignored by Tr*mp, assassination of congresswoman, Melissa Hortman, her partner, Mark and their dog, Gilbert, as well as the recent tragic murder of two firefighters by a reportedly gun-obsessed young man with N*zi tendencies), Tr*mp will invoke the word “terrorism” even more now, but not in its appropriate direction, but in furthering xenophobia and manipulation to drive fear and islamophobia, and justify “crackdowns” on those who don’t meet “American” expectations. (Tr*mp has been too busy profiting- again- off the American duped by announcing his new cologne line instead of saying anything yet about the assassination of the firefighters in Idaho.) This is white nationalism and fascism in full force. In addition, Tr*mp childishly posted the “bomb Iran” song with total indifference to innocent lives lost. The lyrics in that song are disturbing and disgusting. It is a shameful embarrassment. It is nowhere near any resemblance of true leadership, let alone anything near to Jesus-peace. Tr*mp wants peace? He is peace? I think not.

With the same ignorance of Iraqi people and culture during the Iraq war, we are now perpetuating the same with Iran. How many Iranian people are we currently hearing from about what’s going on right now? (A former professor of mine provided a list of some to follow and read- see list below- I have much to continue to learn in that realm, too!) For the U.S. to fear monger about Iran as a serious threat, whether they are or not, is another ironic position, given the bombing, war, and nuclear weapons stock that outweighs Iran’s reality and potentiality. How many nuclear weapons does Iran have compared to the U.S, Russia, Israel, etc.? Zero. For now…Of course nobody wants Iran to have nuclear bombs, but nobody should. And yes, Iran’s government is tyrannical and dismissive of human rights, but are we also paying attention to the erosion of rights here in the U.S., too? The tyranny that is spreading? We are missing where the larger threats and massive destruction capabilities are truly coming from, in addition to from where genocide and war is funded, and even being exulted, in boastful, toxic dominion rhetoric. Author, professor, historian, Timothy Snyder reminds us in his “5 Things to Remember About War: 1. Many things reported with confidence in the first hours or days will turn out not to be true. 2. Whatever they say, the people who start wars are often thinking chiefly about domestic politics. 3. The rationale given for a war will change over time, such that actual success or failure in achieving a named objective is less relevant than one might think. 4. Wars are unpredictable. 5. Wars are easy to start and hard to stop.”

The hypocrisy of funding billions of dollars for the military industrial complex, funding ICE whose money has run dry in its grotesque excessive use, and pretending “fraud and waste” prevention justifies allowing children to starve, die, and suffer under the dismantling of USAID, the removal and erosion of social safety nets (the Big, Ugly Bill), and complicity in war/genocide is abhorrently anti-Christ. To zip-tie people in wheelchairs as they protest, to enrich the ultra-wealthy at the expense of the rest of us, is utterly disgraceful. Oligarchy and democracy cannot coexist. The idea of selling off millions of acres of public lands for oil, logging, tech-bro profits, and AI environmental destruction, removing tax incentives for clean energy, pushing us over the edge of the already fragile environmental crisis, isn’t reflective of our responsibility to care for the earth. This bill is a moral travesty. People will literally die if it passes. It further militarizes this nation, over-funding cruelty, while decimating funds that support human flourishing, and relieve financial burdens on the poor, middle, and working class. The sickness of excessive racism, materialism, and militarism MLK Jr. warned us of, continues today. Speaking of prophets, the spiritual death he warned about has been spiraling for decades. “A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on war than programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.”

Tonight, as I post this, we wait with trepidation upon the imminent passing of a bill that will cause such devastation and ruin for decades to come, handing future generations trauma and heavy burdens, while the ultra-wealthy will be the only beneficiaries of money they wouldn’t even know was missing if it were used in humane ways. Profit over people. Only 29% of Americans* actually approve of the bill, which is indicative of the GOP’s loyalty to Tr*mp, not us- even those who voted for him. It is mind boggling, to think this could be our reality as we approach a holiday supposedly about freedom, where fireworks traumatize a large percentage of our population (and devastate wildlife), of this nation’s promises fallen short (see Frederick Douglass’ “What to the Slave is the 4th of July”), to where our very fought for freedoms are eroding before us.

SCOTUS recently issued a ruling that limits the ability for federal judges to issue universal injunctions. And as is commonplace for the Tr*mp administration, the spin is that our judicial system is weaponized against Tr*mp, when the reality is, the Tr*mp administration is eroding the check of the judicial system so they can weaponize it against others. (The accusations-are-confessions truism is a common thread of Tr*mpism rhetoric and attacks.) “With the stroke of a pen, the President has made a ‘solemn mockery’ of our Constitution,” Justice Sotomayor wrote. “Rather than stand firm, the Court gives way. Because such complicity should know no place in our system of law, I dissent.” It is not hyperbole to acknowledge the existential threat this poses to the constitution, and to the rights of vulnerable people, and to all of us subsequently.

When profit rules over prophets, and when societies have lost their way, concentration camps are built with redirected tax payer/stolen FEMA money, built literally surrounded by alligators as “deterrents” to escapees, and then smirkingly boasted about by a press secretary, who conveniently wasn’t wearing her usual cross necklace while announcing it. (Not that it ever stopped her before in spewing blasphemy and the regurgitation of lies in an effort to normalize it all.) We are not a civilized, enlightened society when we build such camps that profit off the exploitation of and cruelty towards human beings, and sell merchandise with “Alligator Alcatraz” on it like we are attending a concert with front row seats to barbarism and flesh-hungry alligators. I can’t believe this is our current, shameful reality. Only wicked hearts speak about alligator infested concentration camps with glee. As is reiterated, time and time again: Cruelty is the point.

What has unfolded in the first half of the first year of this administration is predictable, pathetic, dangerous, and reckless. 

Politics is one of my top interests, yet I do not claim to be an expert. However, it is my/our responsibility to understand and to think critically about it, and to seek out solid resources for guidance along the way. (Beware of false prophets.) My studies and learnings have been largely centered in theology and compassionate care, social justice and intersectionality, and even as that is an ongoing, personal learning and transformation, where I will fall short, and try again, I turn to the prophets of ancient and modern times who reveal the truth and calling for us all. For all the narratives out there about flawed “end times” theology, literally being used to justify war, violence and disarray in the Middle East, I am baffled there isn’t more concern that the U.S. may have elected and put into power the very antichrist they fear and use to justify their myopic, misguided hope of Jesus’ literal return. The idolatry of Christian Nationalism is rampant in the U.S. now, and Tr*mp is at the helm (with white nationalist Stephen Miller commanding his every word and move). Perhaps MAGA has chosen to follow the wrong God. If we share a concern over what the model of an antichrist means, even symbolically, and if we believe that good and evil have very real consequences, we might realize that the moment is now to recognize the anti-christ(s) in our midst. And part of being against all that is anti-christ, is to name evil. Even as Tr*mp is beloved in God’s eyes, as all living beings are, his embodiment of evil brings Jesus to weep. We shall continue to name such evils, and protest their influence.

We must discern those who act for profit from those who are benevolently prophetic. Think about Revelation 13: “Who is like the beast, and who can fight against it?” Much of the establishments’ parties and the spineless have decided the answer is, “we are” and “no-one.” They won’t oppose him; they deem their resistance as futile, and so they legitimize Tr*mp’s positions emboldening his power, while those who have the guts to oppose him risk ridicule and political defeat. Think about Tr*mp’s own life, filled with serial adultery, sexual violence, an irrefutable tapestry of lies, his abhorrent, vulgar language. (No, I’m not talking about the time he said, “They don’t know what the f*ck they’re talking about- which was another example of an accusation as a confession. And even as that certainly wasn’t presidential of him, his speeches in general stink of crassness and indecency, as well is idiocy.) His obsession with materialism and attention, his criminal behavior, his trampling of the constitution, etc., etc. all point to a beast. Think about “the beast was given a mouth uttering haughty and blasphemous words” as he panders to professed Christians, demanding loyalty at the expense of the reverence toward the Christ they profess to follow. Think about later passages in Revelation where we are warned about the false prophet who leads people astray, and now we have hoards of evangelical Christians who find comfort in the prosperity gospel, and believe Tr*mp is likened to the persecution of Christ himself. Jesus refused to make pacts with he devil, in direct opposition of Tr*mp cult followers, even some from pulpits, who disregard Tr*mp’s immorality, criminality, as an excuse to further the cause of their “gospel”, making Tr*mp the anti-christ he might in fact want to be. But that is a betrayal of the Gospel, and a trap into playing god by declaring a larger purpose (to the detriment of the vulnerable with which Jesus actually stood), and wherein they become gods themselves. And although we could dive deeper, I will point out one last item about Tr*mp’s anti-Christ-ness. Even if coincidental, it is still a symbolic cautionary to think about the “name of the beast and the number of its name” on the forehead. I’m inclined to wonder if years from now, red MAGA hats in antique stores will make shoppers cringe as when coming across items of clothing with N*zi symbols, haunted and faded, raising moral questions about why one would ever want to collect them (let alone wear them now…).

Tr*mp may not be the anti-christ (that would give him too much credit), but he is an antichrist. We must reject what parades as prophesy but is truly demonic, what parades as Christlike when the words and actions he spews, and some of his followers mimic, only reject Christ, even if they may not realize it. Indeed, the prophecy of Revelation provides for us: “A call for the endurance of saints” to fully reject the fraudulent POTUS and his disciples of deceit, in addition to any power structure that thrives in capitalism, complicity with war and violence, and white supremacy.

Biblical prophets call us to reject Tr*mpism. “Love thy neighbor”, “every good tree bears good fruit”, “pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall”, Jesus himself saw through the devil’s temptations, and focus on selfishness and serving of ego, which he knew were not in service to God (Mt. 4:1-11); wicked schemes, false tongues, and haughtiness stirring up strife and doing what is clearly wrong (Proverbs 6:16-19). Let’s see, what else: Psalm 1:1 (sitting in the company of mockers), John 3:20-21(hiding from the light), Psalm 36:1-4 (self flattery), Luke 12:1-15 (greed and abundance of possessions), Proverbs 19:20 (being willing to learn from correction), Isaiah 5:18-23 (what sorrow for those who say evil is good and good is evil…(accusations are confessions), what sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever)- the propaganda, the dismantling of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policies, the sin of American evangelicalism scofflaw (Proverbs 26:4-5). 2 Chronicles 7:14, and on and on and on. Whose will will we follow? “God will give them a strong delusion…” 2 Thessalonians 2:11. See the golden idol, with his profit making bible, who also refused to place his own hand upon a Bible as he swore lied his oath of office, bent on revenge. Have we not noticed the symbolism of difference when Tr*mp’s first term and second term presidential photos are juxtaposed? Have we not paid attention to how he thinks only losers have compassion and empathy, all of which flies in the face of the prophet Micah who reminds us that our true endeavor is to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly?

We are all called to do our part. Whether through writing, speaking, marching, protesting, calling congress leaders, making art, writing poetry like the prophets of antiquity, sending notecards, acting in service and protection to others, especially those at risk of being harmed by Tr*mp’s policies, and so much more, God has equipped us with gifts to discern what is false and what is prophetically Christlike. I may not be able to write as well as others already have and will, but I cannot be silent. We are all obligated to share, and say aloud what we know, what we’ve learned, to make connections, to continue to strengthen our communities in the shadow of tyranny. To be the dissenting dutiful. To keep feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the least of these. Many have contributed their voice in profound ways, from whom I have learned from, who inspire me, and give me hope.

Of the profits and prophets, may we discern between them. May we lift people over profit in the way of Christ. For profits will be dressed in false prophecy. And true prophets will be twisted into enemies. But if the prophets you interpret aren’t calling you to an alignment of peace that insists on human flourishing now, you have missed the incessant return of Jesus, happening here and now, most ever so in those whom false prophets would have you fear, loathe, other; in those who are kidnapped by masked agents on the streets, and in the faces of those who lose their healthcare, SNAP benefits, choices, and autonomy, their freedom to love; in the sacred pristine public lands of divinely created lushness where all God’s creatures live, waiting to be sold off, in the faces of those snatched by terrorists, and in the faces of those who lie under the rubble of war crimes.

____

*https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/06/17/how-americans-view-the-gops-budget-and-tax-bill/

*https://nmaahc.si.edu/explore/stories/nations-story-what-slave-fourth-july

A list of books/authors to read for better understanding of Iran, thanks to a former professor of mine and others who contributed to the list:

Iran’s Grand Strategy; A Political History, Vali Nasr

Theology of Discontent, & Iran; A People Interrupted, Hamid Dabashi

The Ayatollah Begs to Differ, Hooman Majd

The Rose Garden of Martyrs, by Christopher Bellaigue

Women With Mustaches and Men Without Beards, Afsenah Najmabadi

Follow Dr. Narges Bajoghli on Instagram: @nargesbajoghli 

Just a snippet of others:

https://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/2025/06/04/trumps-big-ugly-bill-budget-reconciliation/

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19HZjAAn1e

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ezra-klein-show/id1548604447?i=1000714477589

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ezra-klein-show/id1548604447?i=1000715359347

Speaking of Truth-Telling Poetry:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLlcTigRtwp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

My Review of the Show, “Sex Education”

When I broke my ankle in December, I caught up on some shows. There was one I intended to go back and finish, and I am sure glad I did!

Content Warning: This review has *major* spoilers, and references to sexual assault. The show itself contains nudity, sexual assault, physical assault, and may be too sexually visual for some. It is rated MA-TV for Mature Audiences.

This may contain: three people sitting on the floor in front of lockers

The Netflix series, “Sex Education” is healing, spiritual, and revolutionary. It covers topics on sexuality, relationships, diversity, and boundaries… while pushing boundaries. The show debuted in 2019, but I am often behind when catching up on shows recommended to me, so this may be old news to some. (I’m hearing, “Yeah, we know it’s a great show, Brenda. Geez, get with the times…)

“…If you can stay open, curious, and compassionate, that helps a lot…” That about sums it up! This quote from the show is also a good thing to keep in mind as you watch it in its entirety, especially if you start feeling judgment, criticism, or shame rise in you as you watch. Just hang on for the ride, because it’s worth it. (No pun intended…)

I’m a super fan of teen angst shows. Partly for the nostalgia. And probably because I had my own abundance of teen angst (don’t we all?) and so watching characters navigate theirs makes us feel less alone. Or, that our struggles weren’t “really that bad” if I can see others going through worse. But, truly we shouldn’t downplay our own experiences, or live in comparison. Life is enough. Your story is just as valid, wherever it lands on the spectrum of your struggles, traumas, and experiences. And yet, I know how I, like Aimee’s character and others, brushed off their trauma at times, in denial of the truth of the pain it caused. A pain that in real life might not surface until decades later, even if the symptoms began immediately. While the show does resolve things quickly (because hello, it’s TV), and while there are scenes that I thought went “too far”, or were unnecessary to the plot, I also realize that my own embedded shame may be part of why I felt this way. Isn’t that part of the point? Plus, I think the absurdity of some of the scenes is also part of the point; it is flipping the script on what the actual absurdity is- our repression, shame, silence, myopic views, and backward, obsolete, wrong and harmful attitudes about sex and sexuality, as well as our downplaying of the experiences and people in life that have impacted us, or harmed us, or the ways in which we harmed others. And so, while I do think some of the short story lines thrown into an episode here and there were a bit ridiculous, the long running character development, and the brilliant liberating points of the show were captivating and worthy of applause, and the point of the ridiculousness absolutely understood.

I’m also a big fan of theology through pop culture/art/music; the reality that the sacred is in the secular. As Madeleine L’Engle said, “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the incarnation.” This includes sexuality. The manifestation of the sacred and the spiritual is all over this show. One of the ways God shows up is in acts of solidarity. In community. Through people. There were several acts of solidarity among the students in different scenes, and it made me feel hope for the way many in our younger generations are really taking the lead in what it means to be in community, to care for one another, to tell the truth, and to stand up for what’s right. Spirit shows up in nature, and horses that heal, themes of how we all just crave connection. The show has great music choices, and is filmed in the lush land of Wales! (Lucky me, I’ve traveled there!) These just add to the appeal and are the icing on the cake (vulva cupcake anyone?) of what all came together to produce a fantastic, spiritually infused series.

My favorite characters are Eric, Aimee, and Maeve. All of the characters have wonderful stories, but those three have my heart.

I so resonated with Aimee’s struggles with allowing intimacy in her life after being sexually assaulted on the bus, the way she feels safer on her own, they way she avoids conflict as a result, the way she sometimes blames herself for what was clearly not her fault. (As one who smiles at strangers…), but who later learns through therapy, friendship, self reflection, safe connections, and art, to embrace all of who she is sexually and as a whole person. The therapy scene where Aimee voices her pain and self sabotage, with realizing how she has suppressed her own value to the detriment of herself and in having healthy friends, and then what came next, was just mighty! After she shares, Therapist Milburn takes a deep breath, encouraging Aimee to do the same, and then profound words of healing begin: “…what that man did to you…is only about him. And it is absolutely not your fault…”

“How do I get stronger?”

“Oh, I bet you’re much stronger than you think you are.” (Cue the resonant aching of my heart, and the faucet of my tears turned on. And that was only the beginning!)

Aimee and Maeve both feel disappointed by people, something I also relate to. And the friendship between the two is a deep, special bond. The way Aimee discovers her talent in photography in seeing female self portraiture was thrilling. “Maybe it’s because other people don’t see them for who they really are.” A defining statement of the plight of women since time immemorial…

I love Otis and Eric’s friendship. A wonderful example of male friendship, normalizing affection among male friends, guys who can share why they value each other, and even affirm each other’s gifts, “…it’s one of the reasons I love you so much” Eric told Otis. But the show also points out the privilege and the awareness Otis needs to work on. I so love the way Otis embraces Eric’s identity and acts in solidarity throughout their friendship- and, how when Otis fails to do so at times, the way awareness, forgiveness, and an effort to be better plays out. Eric is so authentic. He brought such joy with his alone-in-the-room dancing, his delightful antics, his animated response to his friends’ lives and relationship updates, and his own good happenings. I love his enthusiasm, expressions, and tender heart.

There is a clear and important blend of religion and sexuality, that is admittedly uncomfortable at times, but again, that’s the point. And especially for this Gen-Xer, who was raised in a family like many teen and tweens of the 80’s with “The Talk” which was a singular, “one and done” moment in time, accompanied by (if you were “lucky”), a book by Dr. James Dobson, which was super helpful…(read the sarcasm). We also grew up with a reliance on school sex ed, which was far from comprehensive. Many of our parents were doing the best they knew, and it was probably even more than what they were raised with. And when I became a parent, I vowed to make “the talk” into ongoing conversations, and provide abundant books as gifts, reading them together at times, age appropriate from early on, and from then on. And I hope my kids do even better if they parent or mentor younger people in their lives. That’s how it should be. As it has been said, “When we know better, we do better.” But perhaps you can imagine, or relate to, what it’s like to view a show as revolutionary as Sex Education with the limited background we older generations endured, and even today’s generations still contain. I could feel shame rising in me at certain scenes, revealing how imbedded the limited and harmful lack of comprehensive sex ed., the silence, the lack of acceptance; all that was missing in my upbringing, accomplished. How can I be anything but grateful for the ways I have learned and grown in my own exploration journey over the years, and to see a show like this with such affirmation, manifest? It is so unbelievably freeing, and freedom from life-limiting ways, is yet another Spirit led process.

There were a few scenes/episodes I felt the writer was struggling to find a good fit for, or a justifiable reason to include. But Laurie Nunn, who wrote the show, completed the series superbly. I think her intuition about a stopping point for the show was spot on. One could argue that the self awareness of the characters was quite a bit more developed than it realistically would be in high school/secondary school and early college, but aside from the fact that the actors were older in real life (most of them in their early 20’s playing teenage characters), it was wonderful to imagine and see such self awareness and sex-positivity/inclusiveness playing out on screen, even if that aspect of the show may not be as realistic at such young ages. For the most part, this show was a refreshing take on our very humanity. Unabashed in exploring taboo topics, sticky situations, struggles, identities, and realities. I felt so seen in this show, as I am sure many more viewers did, even more than me. Good shows have the ability to tap into our innermost selves, and it just reiterates that when we may have thought we were healed, we realize we still are healing, or that we haven’t yet, or that we are so grateful we have. The way the characters portray curiosities, worries, self exploration, and trauma is beautiful. So many of the things we deemed ourselves broken about, are unwrapped as normal.

Imperatively, the show fully incorporates diversity, and avoids tokenization the way many shows fail to, and that representation also didn’t make marginalized characters’ struggles their focal point. I appreciated the way legacy preference in education is uncovered in its unethical manner. And it’s not just about teens. There are men learning how to be better men after generations of being hindered by toxic masculinity. There are mature women discussing menopause and the lack of information about it. The viewer grows to love the characters for all of who they are; I know I sure did. The diversity, by the way, was abounding in a full rainbow of sexual identities, family structures, disabilities, socio-economic realities, and revealed the imperfect, human lives of youth and adults, all growing, even learning from each other. Imagine!

I was over-joyed at the way Eric’s character as a gay, Black man was a crucial aspect of exploring one’s faith and sexuality. I shouted an audible “Yes!” with tears when he found his calling to be a pastor. And Amen to God(dess) who is, of course, a Black Woman, guiding us in our existential crises! It was so refreshing to see God portrayed in this way, and also as an unhoused person, a thief, a trans youth offering bread, an angel, in dreams…the God among us, and with us. And it was restorative the way Eric’s character/his family flesh out the identities of faith and queer identity in an ultimately positive way, while reminding churches, and us, of how much work there is yet to do. Shout out the the church choir singing, “Down By the Riverside”- the goosebumps, the tears again! And there it was- the intertwined value of good religion woven with a message important to many aspects of life, religious or not, of laying down burdens…

As a sexual assault survivor x2- once by a gynecologist on my very first visit, and second by an adult volunteer in my high school marching band, and also a survivor of the impact of crushing words from a teacher that damaged my self confidence (like Maeve, mine was in a writing class, too), this show validated my own ongoing healing (even still at age 51) from those horrific traumas. For Aimee – the way her assault changed her, and impacted her struggle with being intimate, and her healing through therapy, the friend who knew the importance of reporting, the scene where the girls in detention find in common how they bond with the fact that they have almost all experienced unwanted sexual advances, harassment, or assault. Then they go and smash things at the junkyard! Catharsis! A powerful bonding and ritual of letting go. And the group of them in solidarity with Aimee in getting back on the “stupid bus” was incredibly moving. When Aimee heals through her photography, and then burned the jeans, people! Healing rituals! I cried at every one of those scenes. When Maeve’s self perspective and passion was squashed by her professor’s words, I was taken back to the same incident that happened to me. And when Jean said, “Don’t let one teacher dictate your future” tears rolled again, and then again when she later told Professor Molloy that, “as a teacher, your words hold a lot of power…you don’t get to be the gatekeeper of my dreams.” Pivotal and superb!

Can we talk about some more of the powerful lines in this show?! I mean, wow:

“Sexuality is fluid. Sex doesn’t make us whole, so how could you ever be broken?”

“Sounds a bit racy…”
“Well, if by ‘racy’ you mean highly researched and completely essential to the health and well being of our children, then yes!” (Shout out to comprehensive sex ed., and to Emily Nagowski’s book, “Come As You Are”, which also gets mention in the show! I had read this book before watching this show, along with purchasing copies for my loved ones.)

“You may never be the old you, Amiee, but that’s okay. As human beings, we are constantly changing and developing. And by processing this trauma, you may gain clarity on the event itself, and we can move you towards healing the relationship with your body again.”

“You’re 17, you don’t have to have it all figured out yet.”
“[But] This is not the message the world is giving me.”
“Maybe just try being Jackson Marchetti for a bit.”

“Maybe…I am learning from my brave son.”

“Women like to feel like they’ve been heard.”

“Is there too much power in multiple otherness for you?” (Bam!)

“Enough! It’s supposed to be school. Not somewhere we should feel afraid.”

“Because when shame is used as a weapon, it doesn’t just hurt people, it can damage them, forever. But the opposite of shame, is pride…”

“So if you agree that communication and empathy are better tools than silence and shame, then join us in asking your school for better!”

“When we give teens information, agency, and trust, there’s a much higher success rate…”

“It’s what most artists do- they are brave enough to show the weirdest, most vulnerable sides of themselves in their work, which helps a lot of people feel not as alone.”

“You should never give someone the power to humiliate you. You’re great. Just as you are.”

“The issues that we’ve talked about have always been there; people just didn’t feel safe enough to raise them. That’s what’s changing.” (Thank God for that!)

“Otis, I can’t glam myself alone for five hours!”

“I am a mess, but I think all teenagers are, and that’s why I think it’s so important that we can talk.” -Otis (The vulnerability he shared before that quote, too!)

“I feel like it’s giving gay Jesus.”
“We totally are gay Jesus. We are gay Jesus!”
“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”
“Girl!” (Amen!)

God to Eric: “Today was the start of a long and hard road, but I will be with you, every step of the way. You will change hearts and minds, and let everyone know that I love them for who they are.” (The scene following that quote is so beautiful; his calling put immediately into action.)

The funeral scene, people. Maeve’s eulogy opened the both/and door to our paradoxical reality of human flaws and human gifts packaged in one life; in all our lives.

If you’re struggling watching this show, if you’re uncomfortable, if you’re not sure it’s worth it, keep watching. (Assuming you’re reading this despite the spoiler warning!) The final season (it’s only four seasons), and especially the last three episodes, will have your emotions all laid out. Have your tissues near! The insightful arc of each character’s development was truly inspiring, representative, healing, emotional, real, and not always working out in a pretty bow. This is life, people. Bittersweet. Flaws, anxieties, insecurities, vulnerabilities, complicated relationships, people who are educated and wise and in positions of power who also struggle with their own wounds, such as the astute and supportive therapist who struggles with boundaries in her own relationships with her partners and her son. Traumas, romance, mental health, physical health, how toxic masculinity impacts all of us, embracing ourselves and our calling; all of it was written and acted in truly remarkable ways.

When I was young, in my teens and twenties, and even into my 30’s, I was not able to stand my ground as the characters found their ability to. Of course, that’s part of the show writing in needing to resolve storylines, but to see them do so was the viewers’ way to live vicariously, as I did, and deeply therapeutic for those of us who never had the chance to do so in real time.

The show is a compelling reminder of the power of choice in what we choose to do (or not to do- which is just as critical, and just as acceptable), in discovering who we are, and with such heart and humor, this show has the guts to address real life in all of its messiness and wonder. The scenes where characters tap into what brings them joy, and what makes them uniquely and beautifully *them* are both tender, and empowering. It is a reminder of how sexuality is a part of so many aspects of our being, not just what happens in the bedroom. It is a reminder of the spirituality of sexuality, and the vast, creative expression such a gift cannot help but to illustrate.

What do you want your art to say?

Bonus: The final dance scene to FOOTLOOSE?! Are you kidding me? How could it get any better?!

Brilliant. Sex Education gets 4 1/2 out of 5 stars.

(Note: Most of the time, I do my movie or mini-series reviews on Letterboxd. Occasionally, I write them in this blog, or both. Letterboxd only allows reviews for movies and mini-series, not lengthier shows with several seasons, hence my review of Sex Education in this blog. But since I often write with a theological lens, it was also appropriate to included my review of it here. Anyway- my point is, if you’d like to read other movies and miniseries I’ve reviewed at Letterboxd, follow my page here: https://letterboxd.com/brenjgoody/films/ I recently wrote a review on the miniseries show, “Adolescence” on Netflix which was incredible, and personally relatable. Read it here: https://boxd.it/9aue1f)

Whose ‘Faith’?

Recently, Trump signed yet another EO establishing the White House Faith Office, and deemed Paula White-Cain as the head. Faith based offices in the White House are nothing new (at least in recent American History), but this one is different, especially due to who is in charge, and due to the wording of its purpose and agenda.

If you read my blog entry before this one, you might recall that I wrote a comment about what bothers me when someone describes something using the word “faith” in a general sense, when behind it is meant a more specific kind of faith- usually the faith of evangelical Christians. We see it used in adverts like, “faith night” or in a recent (false) comment, “the faith of the larger community” of the United States implying a specific religion, or in most recent news, “The Establishment of the White House Faith Office”. In my last blog, I had mentioned Rep. Collins’ absurd response to Bishop Budde’s message on January 21, 2025 at the Washington National Cathedral when he responded that it is “not representative of the ‘faith’ community at large”. My initial response to that was, “Whose faith?” What “faith community”? Because a blanket title of “faith” in such an assumption is exclusive in and of itself, and is why I get annoyed every time something like sports teams host a “faith night” at their venue. Whose faith? What kind of faith? Just be transparent and say what it actually is, please. (And btw- it’s always a Christian Evangelical faith night.) 

As far as the newly established version of the White House Faith Office, while also similarly implying a particular kind of Christianity, I would also say that “faith” as referenced by this WHFO is not even a broad brush of Christian evangelicals. For there has been backlash from conservative evangelical leaders as well about re-appointing Paula White-Cain to this office. She is not widely supported even by Christian Evangelicals who see her heresy. It would be more accurate to say that the “faith” and “religion” this administration wants to see “bigger and better”, and that it wrongly feels is suffering from “anti-religious bias”, is the MAGA religion, and the sacrilegious movement of Christian Nationalism. Americans United described Paula White-Cain as a “‘Christian Nationalist powerbroker’ who’s spent much of her career operating in the shadows to influence public policies that discriminate against women, LGBTQ+ people and religious minorities, and the nomination of partisan judges who will support those harmful policies.” Paula White-Cain is a Prosperity Gospel proponent, but not the kind that is seeking reassurance from God, but rather the kind that pretends a business contract has been signed by God in a promise and “blessing” of grotesque material wealth.

About “The Establishment of the White House Faith Office” Trump remarked, “We want to bring religion back- stronger, bigger, better than ever before.” Whose religion? Islam? Buddhism? Sikh? Judaism? And if Christian, do they mean a particular kind of Christianity? How about Jesus following, intent on gospel living, progressive Christians? Are those Christians included in the “bring back stronger, bigger, and better”? Well, given the Trump/MAGA response to Bishop Budde’s Gospel message for mercy and compassion, which Trump vehemently rejected, obviously not. I’m quite confident a woke (like Jesus himself), religious, but skeptic, faithful, Jesus following, inclusive to all, justice seeking, but interrogating-the-powers-that-be kind of person of faith is the “anti-religious biased” kind of enemy, against-their-brand-of-religion, in which they seek to silence.

Truthfully, the rise of Christian Nationalism has been a long time in the making, and we’ve seen all the warning signs. Trump’s agenda is to usher it in, and give power to those who will help to do so. But Christian Nationalism is everything antithetical to the gospel, and to Jesus’ way. “Christian Nationalist” is actually an oxymoron. One cannot follow a God of liberation and embrace something called “Christian Nationalism”. That is an identity lodged with power and oppression, not Love of Thy Neighbor. (I would refer you to 2nd Corinthians, chapter 11.) It is idolatrous to state Christianity needs government protection. It is a sign of a weak faith to do so. Deep faith in Jesus’ way trusts in a merciful authority, eternally and perpetually present as empires rise and fall. (See Proverbs 27:24.) It is blasphemous to purport a prosperity gospel religion of which Paula White-Cain espouses, and makes Jesus into a warped image, wrapped in an American flag, and used to pretend a divine power intervenes in the world to bring about the tyranny we currently face. “God saved my life so I could save America.” -Trump. “To oppose Trump is to oppose God.” -Paula White-Cain. That’s quite an equivalence of the two! Such rhetoric equates God with Trump in an idol worship, and makes a bold, arrogant claim about God’s providence. Trump reiterated his own boastful arrogance at the National Prayer Breakfast by reminding us that he has “heard it from other leaders” that “a light shines over the world” now that he is POTUS. Many of his remarks like these are blasphemous when meshed with Christianity, including that he “likes people who make money”. Too bad Jesus doesn’t! (See Luke 12:15. See also Jeremiah 9:23, Philippians 2:3, James 4:6, 2 Peter 2:14-16, Jude 11, 1 Timothy 6:9-10 to name a few of so many verses that warn against arrogance and pridefulness.)

You might accuse me of cherry picking Bible verses. You would be accurate. But the Bible is a collection of texts reflecting a diversity of viewpoints, written over hundreds of years, and I hate to burst a myopic, comfortable, homogeneous bubble, but there is no one single worldview represented in it. There are many voices and worldviews in the Bible. Therefor the question is, which biblical worldview does one espouse? Which verses (that we all cherry pick) through our reading, through what baggage we bring to them, through our interpretations of the interpretations, reflect the Gospel and the liberating vision of Jesus? Are we also doing so with humility? This is why one of my favorite verses is Matthew 22:40, with the former two verses in context, it gives us the important directive to use the lens of Jesus’ love in all that we read and hear, including what we read in the Bible, including what we here from those in the pulpit(s) of churches and varied spaces (like the White House). Is this a message of mercy, and of life giving, spiritual abundance, or is this a message of entitlement to wealth and materialism? Is this a message of faith in the midst of uncertainty, or an assured divine intervention for one’s self, or the one on an orange pedestal if you will, while others continue to suffer and die by making the excuse of it all being “god’s (cruel) plan”? There are worldviews in the Bible that promote exclusion and worldviews that promote inclusion. Both worldviews are present within the Bible, and neither represents the biblical worldview. The more we study the Bible, the more we realize this conundrum, and it is why sound biblical study matters greatly.

Christian Nationalism uses Christian language and Bible verses to actually attack religious liberty, not support it. “Faith” as used by this administration is weaponized against religious freedom. Christian Nationalism is not Christianity. Christian Nationalism is a political and ideological stance that distorts what Christianity and religious liberty truly mean. Christian Nationalism is a false idol. Christian Nationalism is evil. Christian Nationalism is a sin. It fuses being an American with being Christian as if it is a requirement by a transactional God. Christian Nationalism and its misusage of “religious liberty” is in fact itself a threat to religious liberty. Jesus himself was crucified for denouncing the religious and political heresy in his lifetime, and Jesus would denounce today’s false claim of Christian Nationalism, too. Jesus’ message was and is to create a kin-dom of God, wherein blindness is restored, the poor receive the Good News, and the oppressed are set free, and this has always transcended government sanctions, for which Jesus never promoted his message to adhere to or be “protected” by.

While there have been other “faith” efforts, causes, and offices within previous presidencies along all political spectrums (The Faith Based and Community Initiatives-Bush, 2001; the White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives-Obama, 2009, which was revitalized by Biden, etc.), all of which have had questionable constitutionality, and separation of church and state concerns, those mentioned in the previous parenthesis made clear they were establishing partnerships and help regardless of religious or political beliefs. And where warnings of proselytizing are made clear as unacceptable (much like my work as a chaplain). This new one in Trump’s 2025 administration is different, and it is dangerously different. This is evident in what has already occurred in direct violation of religious freedom by attacking and defunding government systems that serve the most vulnerable, and falsely accusing religious groups (Lutherans, Quakers, etc.) of financial misconduct. We have already seen the ways this administration and this brand of MAGA religion abuses “religious liberty” to grasp tightly to privilege and power. And by the way, USAID has been a longstanding, bipartisan (even supported by Trump in his first term) organization where the government in partnership with religious entities of various kinds has been able to do what it does- doing so much good- because of the strength in those partnerships. While every administration comes in and makes changes and adjustments, to try to completely dissolve USAID is cruel, and will have, and is already having, devastating, human harming consequences.

I could be wrong, but this newly established office in the white house looks to be about silencing and going after those who do not believe the unconstitutional idea that the U.S. is a Christian Nation, or at least that it should be, under the guise of “combatting anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, and additional forms of anti-religious bias”. It flies another red flag in warning of an ongoing white supremacist attack on civil rights, and all things Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. By anti-religious bias, they likely mean voices of the woke-type, we progressive types, you know-we, among others, who believe in the mercy of Jesus. They also likely mean the atheists and agnostics (who are sometimes also religious, like me), who are deemed lost and threatening to their narrow definition of being American and “Christian”, when in reality they live lives of deep spiritual awareness, are salt of the earth philanthropists, and act in ways that reflect Jesus more so than many who call themselves Christian. Might those of us who continue to advocate for, who speak up and speak out for such Christlike mercy, and abounding ways of human flourishing, risk being silenced or punished in the near future? Time will tell. If so, I will not stop in the face of such a possibility, even as I will not be deemed the right kind of Christian in Paula White-Cain’s eyes, or like the “so-called Bishop” (Bishop Budde) whom Trump demeans as such, I would also then be a “so-called Reverend” to him.

Trump gave only one example of his version of “anti-religious” bias, when he announced the new office, by giving a revisionist historical account of those he pardoned who were illegally blocking an entrance to an abortion clinic and stealing fetal tissue, by saying they were simply “praying”… We have been warned about the Paula White-Cain, JD Vance (who is Catholic; a specific kind of Catholic), and Trump types who misuse the Bible (and/or likely haven’t read it much, if at all); the kind of leadership that might sound like something Christlike, but truly fails to act as such. (See Matthew 7:15.) Its endeavor to endorse religious liberty only intends to do so for a particular brand of religious-types. That is not what religious liberty means. It is the “freedom to believe and exercise upon religious conscience without unnecessary interference by the government. Just as religious liberty involves the freedom to practice religion, it also means freedom not to practice religion.” And as a Baptist myself, religious freedom is an affirmation of freedom of, for, and from religion, and as we Baptists believe strongly in the separation of church and state. It is the freedom to practice any religion, and the freedom to not practice any religion, and our responsibility to protect either one for ourselves and our fellow country-persons. It is to acknowledge the vastly different religions and beliefs in our nation and world, and to strive to live peaceably together. In the same way Paula White-Cain will exploit Christianity for power and money, in the same way that January 6 insurrectionists carried crosses and signs that said, “Jesus Saves” while being violent, and in the same way this party in power seeks to establish their religion as the persecuted one, and the right one, their god is a god of pettiness and power, not a God of love and liberation. But, as uncomfortable as it might make some of us, the love of God is a love that embraces all of us. Even so, we must see the reality that this administration’s use of “anti-Christian bias” is actually a projection- it is their bias, and their power-play being wielded as a weapon against healthy, merciful faith groups and faith leaders of all kinds, and using it to attack those who are doing Good work in the world.

It is never easy for the powerful to hear admonitions for mercy.

There is much to process during these trying times. But we must speak out against the rise of Christian Nationalism/Trumpism threatening religious freedom for all, as well as how it is presenting a perilous threat to what is a constitutional guarantee of a healthy neutrality in order for us to thrive together peaceably in faith in this country. Whose Faith? Yours. Theirs. Mine. All of them, religious, spiritual, philosophical, secular… We the People. We the multi-faithful…

___

For more information:

EDIT: This lawsuit was filed on 2/11. Thanks to Diana Butler Bass who brought this to my attention this morning. Adding it to the resources. Thank goodness for lawyers who understand and uphold the law, and for faith groups coming together in this way. Please alert your own faith groups, and please call your representatives to support this effort: https://www.law.georgetown.edu/icap/wp-content/uploads/sites/32/2025/02/Mennonite-Church-USA-v.-U.S.-Department-of-Homeland-Security-Complaint.pdf

The Baptist Joint Committee advocating for Religious Liberty in its true definition:

https://bjconline.org

The important work of Christians against Christian Nationalism:

https://www.christiansagainstchristiannationalism.org

The Weeping Woke

“Between the Christianity of this land and the Christianity of Christ, I recognize the widest possible difference – so wide that to receive the one as good, pure, and holy, is of necessity to reject the other as bad, corrupt, and wicked.” -Frederick Douglass

“Love is profoundly political. Our deepest revolution will come when we understand this truth.” -bell hooks

I’ve been thinking about the times Jesus wept in the Bible, and imagining how much he weeps at the state of our world, and the USA. I’ve been frequently commenting and lamenting with, “Jesus weeps” in response to the horrors of current events. Jesus’ tears in scripture are tears of empathy, compassion, and courage- the very values that will get us through this terrible time. When we are filled with overwhelm and despair, when we weep in response to scary leadership, wars, genocide, exploitation, human caused climate catastrophe, and harm to others, it is valid. If you are grieving right now over the state of “everything happening” you are not alone. Grieve. Be disturbed. Be angry. As Cole Arthur Riley said, “Anger is an acceptable form of grief. You don’t have to make your emotions palatable to those who are unmoved. Rage isn’t the curse, apathy is.”

And, may we be reminded that the large majority of us are embodying these Jesus-y characteristics of empathy, compassion, and courage, in direct opposition of the cruelty that only throws its tantrum because it knows we are here, and we are always rising. We aren’t going anywhere. It is their last ditch attempt to hold on to power, because they know their time is limited.

One example of courage played out profoundly last week during the National Day of Prayer Service in D.C. as I’m sure you’ve heard, when the spirit of Jesus’ core message came out in the brave words of The Right Reverend Marian Edgar Budde. She spoke the Truth in her affliction of the comfortable. The smirks and squirming of our “presidential” leaders were quite telling as her words of empathy fell over the pews. The Bishop’s courage is something I would hope to summon myself if I were in her position to preach, pray, and make a Christ-filled plea of mercy from the pulpit in the presence of this president. Unfortunately, we all know that trying to garner empathy from a narcissist is almost impossible. Trump’s comment about it was unsurprising. Predictably, he went straight to demeaning words, and questioned the Bishop’s authority and intelligence. In other words, he went straight to one of his weak ego’s favorite defenses: sexism. GOP Rep. Mike Collins made a despicable comment that this Bishop should be deported. Later, he introduced “a resolution to fully condemn the distorted sermon that was preached at President Trump during the National Prayer Service on Monday” and continued, “I strongly urge my colleagues to act quickly on this resolution to show President Trump that the sermon given is not reflective of the faith community at large.” Unacceptable. Additionally, the fragile “King” with his hurt ego insisted an apology should be made by the Bishop. For what? Being asked to have empathy and compassion? He calls the Bishop “political”. Well, welcome to the politics of Jesus, POTUS! Making you uncomfortable? That’s the point. White Evangelical Christian Nationalism does not want to hear the call of Jesus. It would rather mistakenly merge the Kingdom of God with empire. Bishop Budde stated quite rightly after the service, “…One of the qualities of a leader is mercy.” Those who try to dismiss her message as political as if derogatory, have forgotten or denied that Jesus was and is political. “Jesus was a liberator of the oppressed, not a mascot for the powerful.” One cannot be more political than that. 

Jesus wept in Jerusalem because the people refused to see him for what he was. When we have the threat of Christian Nationalism, and a resolution to condemn a “distorted” message, such is a refusal to see Jesus- right in front of them! Rep. Collins said Bishop Budde’s message was “not representative of the ‘faith’ community at large”. My initial response to that is, “Whose faith?”A blanket title of “faith” in this assumption is exclusive in and of itself. (It’s why I get annoyed every time sports teams have a “faith night” at their venue. Whose faith? What kind of faith? Just be transparent and say what it actually is, please. And btw- it’s always a Christian Evangelical faith night.) Second, Collins is perhaps correct, that the message of Bishop Budde was not reflective of *that* specific kind of Christianity- the one called white evangelical Christianity in its bow to Christian Nationalism. Because that kind has chosen another god: an orange one. What it really “condemns” is the very message of Jesus. What it really distorts is the peace of Jesus, and turns him into a soldier of retribution. This cult of Christianity is fused with the cult of Trumpism and projects its own distortion on to Christian communities and leaders who are spreading a biblical message of mercy. The message Bishop Budde spoke, with courage and gentleness (not in a “nasty” tone as Trump lied) is indeed, biblical. The Bible is packed with references about caring for the immigrants and refugees in our midst: The Bible says we are called to empathize with foreigners. The Bible says we are not to oppress the foreigners. The Bible says God defends the foreigner residing among you. The Bible says political leaders should not turn away the needy from justice. Jesus said it is most important to desire mercy, especially those that the religious leaders scapegoat and falsely accuse. Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves. Jesus proclaimed that love of others trumps laws that would lead us to harm others, by desiring mercy, not sacrifice. And more. It’s all there in the scriptures. Bishop Budde’s plea to the president is an act of duty for ordained clergy. She is compelled, as am I, to speak out for protecting the most vulnerable and marginalized in our communities. But Trump’s response was a sexist, hate fueled, scapegoating filled with lies. These dangerous narratives claiming to be Christian are blasphemous. It is a theocracy in the making. Good for Bishop Budde for her courage. If the hardened hearts of those in power cannot be cracked, may ours be broken open.

I am baffled by the things that are happening which have been deemed ways to “Make America Great Again”. Is this what makes America great: Trying to suspend the constitution to end birth right citizenship? Signing executive orders to rule that people Trump doesn’t like don’t exist? (As if something written on a piece of paper determines gender? Our Trans siblings have always existed, and always will, created in the image of God.) Continuing: Releasing violent J6 insurrectionist criminals as Trump’s own “brown shirts” if you will, in an absolute betrayal of justice and those who fought and died to protect democracy? Knowing one of the pardoned is out buying some “MOTHA FU*KIN GUNS!!!” (His words)? Knowing Officer Fanone who bravely testified before Congress is under greater threat and that his 76 YO mother was swatted and had feces thrown at her? Pardoning a drug dealing hitman son of a prominent libertarian leader? Signaling that violence and crime is okay? (So much for “law and order”.) When Trump’s billionaire puppeteer does a N*zi salute behind a presidential podium viewed around the world, followed by gaslighting us into thinking we didn’t see what we clearly saw…twice? Banning scientists from informing the public with important information about health risks, and disease? Dismantling democracy with bigotry and incompetence? Making school children less safe by ending school boards that work to prevent school shootings? Seeing droves of white supremacists show up to see their POTUS speak at an anti-abortion rally? Killing and suppressing women with draconian anti-abortion laws? (Abortion is healthcare.) Threatening to withhold aid to a state devastated by fire damage? Attacking Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programming? Coming after the civil rights movement in full force? Blaming a devastating flight crash on previous admins and DEI, and insulting people with disabilities (again), when his own actions disbanded the ASA Committee which puts aviation security and the flying public at risk? Ironically stating a desire for competency, expertise, geniuses, merit, and common sense leadership when this administration is the least qualified in each of those categories? Freezing civil rights cases and preventing civil rights attorneys from filing new ones? (i.e. How do you support white supremacy without saying you support white supremacy…) Opening a concentration camp in Guantanamo? Coming after books, education, history, and intersectionality because they know that knowledge is power and only by perpetuating ignorance can they continue their authoritarian agenda? By making prescriptions and healthcare more expensive for seniors and vulnerable people and working people? By removing protections from prominent individuals who have credible threats against them because he views them as enemies and as disloyal? By trying to remove independent inspectors general and replace them with loyalists so Trump can continue his fraudulence and abuses of the government without being held accountable? By ending cancer research? By consolidating power and forming an American oligarchy with a deceptive pecuniary agenda? By implementing a massive power grab for billionaire buddies at the expense of the common people, including the ones who voted for this? Deporting and traumatizing immigrants including those who aren’t criminals, and including indigenous people? Pretending mass arrests of immigrant/refugee families is about “safety” when the Criminal-Insurrectionist-in-Chief just pardoned 1500+ criminal insurrectionists? And when Immigrants-those in the U.S. legally or undocumented-commit crimes at lower rates than U.S. citizens? Where sexual assault, it seems, has practically become a qualifier on a resume for this administration? Where an oligarchy symbolically has front row seats at the inauguration and in actuality seeks profit over humanity and controls all major social media outlets? (Increased propaganda.) When an inauguration speech by a president puts himself at the center instead of Americans? When a draft dodger decides who can’t serve in the military, ousting those who volunteered and risked their lives to serve our country because of transphobia? By using the authoritarian playbook to implement an agenda the vast majority of Americans are against? Pretending his election win was a landslide when in reality in only garnered 1/3 of voters, and used gerrymandering, disinformation, culture wars, and exploitation of human beings to manipulate the masses and gain power? When empathy, awareness (wokeness) is seen as weakness? Do I really need to go on? It’s only been 10 days, folks… 

We should not be surprised that Trump’s presidential photo looks exactly like his official mug shot. Symbolic. He does not intend to abide by the constitution, and fully intends to break laws, to be a dictator, and already is, above the law. In part, we have SCOTUS to thank for that. Fascism is already here, I’m afraid. But it won’t win.

We knew there would be a barrage of executive orders and actions meant to send a metaphoric message, as much as they are to be taken seriously. “Shock and Awe” is supposed to be implemented in war toward an “enemy”. But this shock and awe is directed toward us, the American people. Many of these actions will face legal road blocks from what’s left of our already weakened by Trump guardrails of democracy. Some EO’s are performative at best, some are nods to the Evangelicals Trump exploited to win, but some will have devastating consequences. Much of this has to do with Trump’s petulant need to look powerful. The toxic, fragile masculinity that has harmed our society is being blown up in an effort to appear “tough” though it has missed the meaning of true strength. Jesus weeps at what such a movement believes will make America “Great”. He weeps at the hubris that harms. He weeps at the flawed theologies of Christian Nationalism, and the error of being anti-woke, which is to be anti-scripture (“Stay awake!”), which is to be anti-Christ. Part of the agenda of this presidency is about dominance, so it comes of no surprise that the mercy of God is immediately rebuked, and that empathy would be rejected and deemed a sin.

Speaking of woke- the combination of Inauguration Day and Martin Luther King Day, a rare occurrence, while the former this year was an absolute insult to the latter, was perhaps also juxtaposed in a way to clarify the dangerous counter narrative that occurred in D.C. to MLK’s vision. I recall MLK’s speech from the Alabama State Capitol on March 25, 1965 when he said, “I come to say to you this afternoon, however difficult the moment, however frustrating the hour, it will not be long, because truth crushed to earth will rise again. How long? Not long, because no lie can live forever.” Ibram X. Kendi said on this year’s Inauguration Day, “Today we inaugurate our courage as power hopes to inaugurate our cowardice. Courage is not the absence of danger, but the strength to do what’s right in the face of it, as has been said. We can begin amassing the strength to be anti-racist in dangerously racist times. We can be courageous today…courage is the fuel to resistance, the building block of a new world.” The daughter of MLK Jr., Bernice King, gave a powerful message in contrast to a perilous and misleading speech in D.C.  that day. “To be WOKE is to be aware of oppression and committed to justice,” Bernice King said. In the spirit of her father, but with her own voice, she laid out the call we all have before us. In direct contrast to the 2025 presidential inauguration, may the spirit of her message, MLK’s message, and Jesus’ message, move us along the right side of history and faith. When you hear people disparage being “WOKE” they are countering King’s vision, and the history that term surfaced from, as a long and important part of Black culture. Not only that, but as the very Gospel itself.

“We will remain woke because too much is on the line.” -Bernice King

“One of the great liabilities of history is that too many people fail to remain awake through great social change.” -MLK Jr.

Remember that there are far more of us who care, and who have been, and are, on the right side of history. Remember that although they try to squash DEI, they will not succeed. (Austin Channing Brown said, “You’ll never convince me that this attack on DEI isn’t a specific and coordinated attack on Black women (the 92%) because it is our work that erected these programs, created those budgets, challenged administrators and executive teams, etc. But they can’t outpace our creativity, or our strength.”) Organize your outrage, aim it toward justice and purpose by finding your niche, and using your gifts, resources, passions, and remember that rest is part of the resistance effort, too. They are trying to silence us and exhaust us, but only because our voices, our lives, our purpose, and our callings have immeasurable and unstoppable power.

Hold on to hope. Although this all comes down to capitalism, white supremacy, false narratives fueled by fear of the other, and scarcity, as per usual, the majority of us will not allow the spineless to rewrite history. We will not give in to apathy. We will support our local libraries, and read the books they try to ban, and share them. Small acts of kindness, and grand gestures of justice will light the way. Experiencing joy, modeling decency, mercy, integrity, and love will add to the Beloved Community endeavor. It will deny empire and empire’s demagogues of their attempt to crush spirits and to squash the work of liberation. Because fighting for what’s right is for everyone, even those who voted against their best interests. Because resurrection always follows crucifixion. Because light is never overcome by darkness, love is greater than hate, and communities arm in arm are bigger than the violently armed, engagement and shaking voices of dissent are louder than lies.

Many have already written about the events of this week, and will continue to write about them, and all that is to come. Many have written, and will write far better than I can. But writing is one thing I do, and we are writing down history. We narrate these truths for the legacy of love. Every voice is needed, as we speak and write about the same topics of truth and justice in our own unique voices of dissent and truth. We must decide what is ours to do. What is yours? Are you an artist, a marcher, a singer, a preacher, a person making calls to congress, an organizer, one desiring to run for a local office or board, a care-giver, a teacher, a philanthropist, a volunteer for a non-profit, a volunteer in your church, parish, mosque, temple? We can focus on what’s ours to do, staying informed while taking care not be overwhelmed by the agent of chaos who wants us so inundated as to give up. Balance your efforts and justice work with rest, and moments of small and simple joys. No joy will be stolen. 

While no political party nor any one of us is clear and free from a complicity with empire and colonial violence; this is part of the work of being woke: to be aware, to do our work, to repair and heal, to learn of and from our histories and families of complicated and painful legacies, and to do better when we know better. Part of pleas for mercy is continuing to work on the mercy we seek for ourselves and the institutions that have caused so much harm. And even though particular “Christians” who are called to care for the “least of these” will continue to support the evil policies of this administration, Good people of a healthy Christianity of compassion, empathy, and courage, mirroring the tears of Jesus, along with Good people of multiple faiths and various identities and backgrounds will rise above. 

We may be weepy while woke, but so is Jesus.

https://youtu.be/xpXTlOYKuM4?si=SeFQVmIObPp3ygidhttps://youtu.be/aE3s2IwgcAE?si=a9yJ0BRd82tQyHIL

https://youtu.be/aE3s2IwgcAE?si=8Gz3vPe5AnRE2pfh

https://youtu.be/gNfrbAztlcs?si=XmJOWp_wP0mDZReb

Allowing Advent to Linger

One of my favorite Christmas carols is the macabre Coventry Carol. Can there be peace among the mournful? Is this why lament is so imperative? One of my favorite versions of this carol is by the London Brass. The harshness of the snare and the fanfare explode into “raging” (as is the lyric), when the story of Herod’s abhorrent charge is revealed in an almost intolerable clamor. It tries to disrupt the lullaby. The slow cadence and ominous minor key melody warns us that something bad is about to happen. (Many of us feel that way now as the new year draws near.) And then the somber timpani and weeping brass conclude this haunting story. The carol makes reference to the Massacre of the Innocents in the Gospel of Mark when King Herod orders the killing of all male infants under the age of 2. He is threatened by a Greater Benevolent Power over his own hubris. This somber lullaby is imagined as sung by all mothers in Bethlehem. Mothers know the power of a lullaby.

https://youtu.be/rS-KTv2t9Js?si=5Dv1AMxzhp82JW3i

Whether such a massacre actually happened is questionable. Mark is the only Gospel to make mention of it. But the point is clear. The peace Jesus brings is not a quiet peace but one of emphatic liberation; a threat to topple oppressive power and those who would rather expel or exterminate life and lives to keep such power; it threatens those who boast their their own supremacy and fragile egos. (Sound familiar?) In our context, when xenophobia and transphobia spread unjustifiably, and perpetuate discriminatory fear, and endanger these, our Beloved siblings, the great divider can only summon power with lies in this way. But in doing so, their threats become very real. Additionally, our modern day global wars and genocides are a mirror; how can we not weep, mourn, and sing this carol with raw emotion? As we reflect on the Feast of the Holy Innocents which falls on this day, what comes to mind and heart are all humans and children in war zones from Ukraine, to Sudan, to Palestine… “Lully, lullay, thou little tiny child…” Oh, the little tiny children…

“Christmas Time is here…” But oh, how I miss Advent…Christmas has begun. Advent is over. The arrival has dawned. The light is here. The wait is over.

Or, is it?

Christmas is here, but we are still waiting. Bombs are still dropping. Family members are still estranged. Grief still stings. Refugees are still seeking shelter and safety. The gap between the rich and the poor is still widening, and ever more so in unfathomable ways post 2024 election and within the already expanding oligarchical arrival in America. The top 1% of the United States hold nearly ONE THIRD of the entire nation’s wealth; a hoarding of disgusting proportions. Social and safety nets are weakening and teetering on the threat of cuts or removal. Accountability evades the powerful. Toddler behavior, crime infestation, and twisted views are characteristics of an incoming administration. Courts are being hijacked. White supremacy garners more response and protection than for those it harms. Integrity still hides behind ulterior motives. Kindness and wokeness are still perceived as weakness. Vulgarity is acceptable, even admired, or ignored. Mockery of disability is laughed at. Lies and manipulation still win over the obligation to do what’s right. Disinformation has run amuck and bamboozled even good people. Gun violence only raises awareness among the powerful- if it affects the powerful. Voter suppression increases. Apathy discourages civil participation, action, and voting; such is exactly the authoritarian’s hope. Capitalism exploits and perpetuates violence. We have many a reason to be deeply concerned and worried about what the next 4 years and beyond will bring, while already suffering from similar threads throughout history. I have wanted to write about the election results, but have struggled to cope, and to find the words to describe such disappointment, anger, and despair. And there is so much beyond elections that deprive us.

But the invitation during Advent is to be aware of the ways in which God is still with us, working with us, while also depending on us to leave behind what dehumanizes, oppresses, exploits, and kills. “Emmanuel” has no significance if we do not realize that we are also the embodiment of that coming, that arrival, that subversiveness to the powers-that-be. Such a sacred seed has been planted, and seeds take root in the dark of the soil. 

If you’re like me, you might not have welcomed Christmas with the enthusiasm of a Whoville community, hand-in-hand, singing, “Welcome, Welcome!” Perhaps you’re among the fewer who feel a bit melancholy about the arrival of Christmas and the end of Advent. Not because the festivities of Christmas Day with gift giving, meals, games, and traditions are over, but because the time of the Advent Season in some ways, feels most meaningful in its wonder, than all of the festivities, even if you genuinely appreciate and even enjoy those, too. (And even if you absolutely love the classic 1966 Grinch Who Stole Christmas, like I do…By the way, why are we so mad at the Grinch for hating all the noise and materialism?) Maybe it’s because you have found a depth of realness in the ways you find the ability to hold joy alongside your grief, that Advent feels truer. The way darkness embraces a hidden beginning, and illumines a brighter light beauty. Maybe because in the dreaming of Advent, curiosity and vision guide us to what’s actually waiting for us to see and to do, rather than what we are waiting for to happen. And if we pay attention, we will hear the not so silent cries of injustice in the way Christ arrives in unexpected places and unexpected people, troubling us, reminding us that Jesus was born of oppressed parents, in precarious environments, from the womb of the radical and faithful Mother Mary, whose words discomfort us in our privilege, by prophesying the sacred freedom Christ calls for, to lift the lowly and cast down the mighty. Her voice weaves with those of the weeping mothers in Mark, and with today’s mothers who lament so utterly broken over the massacre of their Innocent Ones. Guns remain the leading cause of death for American children, and just under 50% of those deaths are children of color. 17,500 children have been murdered in Palestine as of today, and that is an underestimated number given who remains under the rubble. (Palestinian Pastor and theologian, Munther Isaac reminds us that Christ is in the rubble.)

Jesus had not yet been born in the moment the infancy narrative is voiced through Mary. She is looking forward to the revolution Jesus will bring, the overturning of oppressive powers; she is the bearer of the initial prophetic vision of Jesus’ Way, reminding us to trust women’s vital intuition and voice. She speaks of the peace which isn’t always gentle and mild or quiet, but one that challenges comfort, and is not the absence of conflict, but a True Peace that requires the gritty work of reconciliation and justice. It is that Advent moment where a kind of clarity comes even before Jesus was born, but also always was. Jesus takes after his mother in her courage in their how-the-world-ought-to-be vision, strikingly not only about something exclusively spiritual. It is earthly; it is to be embodied. It is to create a kin-dom on earth. It is the Moment we are still in. It is the Birthing we are also responsible for.

As the poet/activist, Amanda Gorman reminds us in her poem, “The Hill We Climb”:

“…where can we find light in this never-ending shade?

The loss we carry,

a sea we must wade

We’ve braved the belly of the beast

We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace

And the norms and notions

of what just is

Isn’t always just-ice

And yet the dawn is ours

before we knew it

Somehow we do it…”

The inner resilience to keeping striving for peace is especially true of communities that are marginalized with whom Jesus’ very being resonates deepest. Somehow, Advent reminds us that we do it, and we will continue to do it, even in the shadows of evil, even as our days lengthen and lighten, even before we knew it. The Advent and Christmas Seasons span over the shortest days and longest nights and over the beginning of shorter nights and longer days here, perhaps with a purpose. These solemn seasons contain both the light and the dark; the waiting and the arrival. I, for one, like to sit in the in-between time, the anticipation, the hope, the wonder. I like to be in the dark where light is better illumined, where beginnings spawn and are nourished. Sarah Bessy said, “I want to be part of the people who see the darkness, know it’s real, and then light a candle anyway.” Same! (I guess the community of Whoville had it right when they joined hands in community despite all that had been stolen from them.) The Dark of Advent and the Light of Christmas both belong to God, and our belonging is in them. “There is a reason the sky gets dark at night. We were not meant to see everything all the time. We are meant to rest and trust even in the darkness.” -Morgan Harper Nichols.

Jesus is born, yes, that’s true, and Jesus will be born again. And again. Jesus is born perpetually. It’s why we celebrate these rituals, holidays and traditions every year. Not just to remind us of the significance of them in history, but to embody their significance as a reminder that liberation, justice, and Love Incarnate are every day occurrences and invitations, not something that just happened one day. Jesus didn’t ask us to celebrate his “birthday” anyway. Rather, his awaited arrival and birth should stir us to embrace the disruptive peace his coming insists upon, that which overturns systems of power, and transforms our hearts. Advent is the cultivation of the wild and revolutionary danger to those who thrive on false power-over. Jesus’ death by state violence didn’t squash the story. Mary will not be silenced. Neither will we. 

Many of you, like me, may have found it difficult to celebrate among both personal and wider societal ails and evils. How dare we celebrate anything in the midst of such tragedy, such looming darkness, such twisted narratives in the bastardization of Christianity by Christian Nationalism where the Bible is wielded as a weapon, when groups of Christians have found their “savior” in one who decides who is worthy of a “Merry Christmas” and who’s not (re: 45/47’s recent tweet on 12/27), and that such a great divider is even deemed “called by God” to… bring about what? The hell he and his cronies create for many? “In his name all oppression shall cease.” So beware of those who use his name to oppress. But such as these are not called by God in this way. He and those like him are only called by other gods- of corruption, deceit, tyranny, hypocrisy, greed, and more. And how can we celebrate when war never ceases? It is a fair lament, and one that echos ancient times, and not so far off times. But these seasons desire our pondering, and must be celebrated, in the face of distorted positions pretending to be Holy. The truth of Christmas, too- is to hold the paradox of joy alongside grief. But we cannot authentically celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus, the Light of the world, if we don’t face the complicit shadows within ourselves, the loss of humanity around us, or if we don’t confront the lies that desire to keep us compliant in destructive ways. Otherwise, such celebrations ring hallow.

Advent’s meaning and hope in these earthly realities still breaks through enduringly, and in relevance right now. It highlights the need to tell the truth and live in solidarity such that the tyrants of the day will never have the last word. That was the point of Jesus’ life and death after all. God shows up, has shown up, and will continue to show up. Not just in Jesus, but before Jesus, and ever after Jesus. And in us. A theology that insists Advent/Christmas as the only beginning or end of this Light, misses that Advent invites to see this chapter in an enduring story of God’s Light not once revealed, but constantly on fire.

How will love and humility find a way in all of this doom? The arrival of Emmanuel is something to rejoice (re-joy) over, but not like a celebration that only revels in what we gain. This is how we subvert the oppressors, with the insistence to re-joy every year, and all over the in-between. Empires have fallen, and they will fall again. When we are waiting and hoping, the invitation to see Christ’s possibility is perhaps even more palpable in the Advent darkness than on a day we might think everything resolves in a neat package. Rather the Light and Dark are entangled in the “Hark” we are called upon to pay attention to when the angels sing of mercy and reconciliation. Advent invites us to listen, and Christmas invites us to hold on. What comes next should be a manifestation of liberation born. It is a long birth pang.

M Jade Kaiser (they/them) of “Enfleshed” writes:

“Love takes on flesh in every new born baby

Swaddled in the care of community

Making refuge from state violence,

Dreaming dreams of toppling unjust powers

And bringing evil to its knees.

Each child born under oppressive rule

Is already a seed of salvation-

Their flourishing would be a harvest of justice.

Let us come and kiss their toes.

Let us come and offer them all we have.

Let us come and be changed,

For this IS the face of God.

A miracle of love’s determination.

A trick of holy subversion.

A vulnerable bundle of joy,

Through whom our freedom cries.”

Allow Advent meaning to linger, as we tell the Christmas story. It is a story that tells us something about God’s intimate presence, and it tells us about our ability to transform ourselves and our world. Such a humble beginning, but with cosmic proportions. Such an oddity of occurrence, but with an audacious quest. Emmanuel, God is with us, in our longing, in our treacherous journeys, in our mourning, in our seeking of something so far away, and yet so close. It is an unsanitized, chaotic birth. Waiting isn’t easy in times of such uncertainty, but we can inhabit the dark, and be formed by it. What is not ready yet depends upon such formation there. May this Christmas Season be blessed by an Advent Lingering, and may it summon our own Mary-like courage to face what is to come, to strengthen the bonds of Beloved Community, to cultivate and nourish, to rest, to resist and persist.

A Prayer by Cole Arthur Riley:

God of the long wait,

We take hope, knowing you are a God whose movement is not dependent on our ability to perceive it. Remind us that your wait in the womb of Mary was not time wasted, but an intimate beginning in mystery, growth, and dependency. Let our own waiting be the same, that we would find ourselves able to trust our communities to sustain us, entering safe and sacred interdependence for all parts. As we wait for healing and liberation- in ourselves, in the world- help us to practice justice, repair, and mercy, never relying on the divine to absolve us of our collective and individual responsibility. And let us wait in mystery, believing that those who think they are in control of this world are not, and that oppression will not prevail. Help us to be at rest with the unknowing, that we would trust the secret of Mary’s womb, realizing we aren’t entitled to knowledge or clarity, but are still held in love. Let us feel that even here you are moving, you are growing our way to life and healing. Protect us from despair as we wait for liberation. Amen.

“Who are *that* kid’s parents?!” Me. I am.

Social media has this made up thing called, “National Daughter’s Day” and “National Son’s Day”. (Remember parents, when our Littles would complain about not having a “Children’s Day” when it was Mother’s Day or Father’s Day? Welp, sigh… Here we are…) Besides its exclusive binary, it seems to suggest that other days are not these days, when in reality they are. Every day. Every day is our child’s day, and every child’s day, even if they aren’t our own. And each of these days can be filled with joy and heartache. Over our own children, or children in general, in our lives, and around the world.

Any day that celebrates something or someone, can’t really hold the nuances of life’s complexities over the human experience, especially when it comes to loss and grief of all kinds. Today is apparently “National Son’s Day.” (Or maybe it’s tomorrow, or yesterday. I also heard it might be twice a year. Good grief…) So here is my response:

When you don’t have a very recent picture of your son, and, when it helps to spend moments in nostalgia while your young adult son is currently going through “a terrible” (and so are the ones close to him), you find a picture like this, look into his eyes, feel your heart break open again, and hold on to hope. You might also remember how much he loved polar bears, had his own stuffed polar bear named, “Mr. White” since he was a baby, and that that very same bear, worn and scruffy, sits on the dash of his truck. And you have sat in his empty truck, and stared at that stuffed bear, while thinking of him, and sometimes crying and praying, lamenting and wailing…

We are all Beloved, always. Each and every one of us. And the Wisdom in our Child Selves remains in our current inner child, always within grasp. And Nathan, my son, child of God, will always be mine, with a mama who has been, and will always be, his champion. I always tell him I believe in him, and that nothing he could do will ever change my love for him. It might change things, and alter his path, our paths, others’ paths, but the love is always there.

A mother’s heart learns to contain such a deeper, complex love, even with myriad emotions, harm, layered, compounded grief, both/ands, isolating realities, unimaginable pain, and more. But I hope other moms don’t ever have to bear such complex, unique, “not normals”, and terrible pain over their own child’s life. I hope other moms only deal with “normal” bumps in their child’s journey. I have found other moms in the shadows, going through similar circumstances with their sons. It’s a club we didn’t want to join. But it is good to know we are not alone, as much as I want to go through it alone.

Parents: Treasure the healthy paths your children are on. Relish in status updates that are shareable on social media. (And I love reading them! And I share mine, too!) And have grace for yourselves if your children are struggling. Hold grace for other parents whose children are not on healthy paths. Have you ever asked the question, “Who are that kids’ parents?!” The answer? Me. I am. We are. Have you ever asked, “Where are those kid’s parents?” The answer: Right here. Exhausted. Advocating. Loving. Supporting. Grieving. Trying all.of.the.everythings. And crying ourselves to sleep. And do you know who that kid is? Or that person? Human. Beloved. Even when it is hard for us to love them.

Some parents are terrible, abusive, neglectful, toxic, and blameworthy, no doubt. And those behaviors cause real harm. Some parents are doing the best they can. Some, imperfect as we are, are healthy, loving parents with children on paths we could have never imagined. Parenting is a crapshoot. That is not a negative statement. It is exactly what it means: Uncertain. Risky. It is what it is. Yet, there is always hope, grace, and transformation. Planted seeds waiting to bloom. The resilient human experience. The reality of how we are all growing, changing, learning, all of the time…(Hopefully. There are no guarantees.) There is the reality that we are all our own people, and we are not that powerful over others, even our own children. While we should have pride in our children and celebrate them, their failures…and successes, are not ours. And there is always only one degree of separation- just one, seriously- between ourselves and others, and the circumstances “we would never” find ourselves in, or “our children, my child, would never” be in…

And if you don’t believe that, just wait…

…or reflect deeper within. May it cultivate empathy. Not one that excuses, but an empathy that fosters compassion.

In all of it, and Ultimately…there is a Mysterious Love Who knows us to our bones, knows the depths of our souls, and keeps dreaming, holding, and remaining…just like good mamas do…

National Son’s Day. 💔❤️

Masculinity is Good. Toxic Masculinity is Real.

Listen to Women and Queer People.

Recently I have come across a seemingly small movement to disavow the term, “toxic masculinity”. I’m not talking about far right extremists who are filled with rage and simply cannot even engage in conversation around this; they are drowning in toxicity, and would rather wear a badge embracing toxicity than denounce it (although they deserve healing, too). And while I am talking about people who might be right wing, I’m also talking about more moderate or even progressive people, or people who would rather not identify anywhere on the political spectrum. The other day, I saw a social media post (well thought out from a respected person who is doing a lot of good in the world), around relationality in our society, and while not outright dismissing it, shared that he was “concerned” with the term “toxic masculinity” and implied a suggestion that conflates it with shaming and punishing groups- in this case, one can assume, he means men. That is an alarming misunderstanding, because naming toxic masculinity identifies what is an important part of freeing men to be more fully themselves, and opens the door to safety for all people. As bell hooks describes, in her book, The will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, a book that is arguably one of the best in describing the reality of toxic masculinity (and I wonder if the men I’ve encountered who are dismissing or disparaging the term have read it…), “Men need to hear that their souls matter, and that the care of their souls is the primary task of their being…Feminist masculinity offers men a way to reconnect with selfhood, uncovering the essential goodness of maleness and allowing everyone, male and female, to find glory in loving manhood…” Identifying how toxic masculinity is real and harmful, therefor, is not shaming, or punishing. It is necessary, and it is loving.

Although the post was a thoughtful reflection, with good points that were well intended, a suggestion was also made to replace the word “toxic” with “immature”. (Someone else commented that using “wounded” is better, but I still think wounded is vastly different from toxic, and both should remain in our vocabulary, describing different conditions.) Some words have been more appropriately interchanged with the word, “toxic” such as, “harmful,” “sexist,” and “patriarchal,” the latter perhaps more of an umbrella term, but immaturity and toxicity are not interchangeable, and differ vastly in meaning. He pointed out that punishing others who disagree with you isn’t helpful and correctly stated how study after study shows that punishment and shaming are harmful. Yes, that is true, but identifying toxic masculinity isn’t a shaming tactic. The post also generalized toxic behavior to “any group” which also isn’t helpful in a cultural reality that still lacks full inclusion and equality. Although not exactly the same, it sort of rings familiar to not wanting to face the truth about things like white supremacy, or racism, as if it devalues a white racial identity, or any anti-racist progress. In this particular post, toxic behavior was acknowledged, but it was generalized in a way that dismisses toxic masculinity- a specific kind of toxic behavior and influence that still remains true and rampant. From prominent therapists, authors on books about manhood, and in personal conversations, I have tried to hear and understand this argument. (Another man, an author, who proclaims the term toxic masculinity as toxic itself told me when I questioned his position, “I understand everything about the topic, what it’s supposed to be, and why people use the term…I have a Master’s degree, so I understand it.” Huh…Well, gosh…I have a Master’s degree, too…and by the way, you know who has a PsyD? James Dobson… *shrug*)

To not acknowledge and teach about pervasive problems in or society, culture, and systems where such problems are causing harm regardless, only internalizes them and perpetuates harm. Toxic masculinity is something we keep experiencing, so to pretend it doesn’t exist, or to want to wash it down with more comfortable terms, is detrimental. In hearing this argument, and reading a lot about it, I have wondered about, and even doubted myself in using the term. Am I wrong? Is toxic masculinity not real? When I use the term, am I explaining it with care? Is using the term harmful? (Am I being gaslighted?) I do believe, that when used as a blanket term, or used in a destructive way, the phrase toxic masculinity can be counterproductive. But to outright toss it out, is also counterproductive. We need to use critical thinking, apply research, hone our communication skills, and most of all foster empathy, to be able to better understand why certain words and terms matter in how they more correctly define things, and in how they are then applied, and that they aren’t disregarding one’s experience of what it means to be masculine.

I do see the good intention, and the commonality in wanting to address healing that needs to happen for men, to understand what it means to be healthy, and what it means to fully be a man, for boys and men to feel supported and valued. Many boys hear more about what’s wrong with them, than what is valuable about them. (Guess what? That’s toxic masculinity…) Masculinity is not a pathology. Traits like competitiveness, power, status, aggression, influence, strength, etc. are not bad traits. Some people misunderstand thinking toxic masculinity is describing those traits. No, but when things like power, influence, aggression, etc. become violent, and infringe upon freedom and rights, then they become toxic. I keep finding that the argument to dismiss the term, “toxic masculinity” altogether fails to acknowledge what naming it is doing for good in the world, for all people, including men themselves. Ultimately, I have had a difficult time finding such an argument to eradicate the term “toxic masculinity” to be truly honest, or at the very least, convincing. What I keep finding is a misunderstanding of the term.

Are you uncomfortable with the term “toxic masculinity”? What is that discomfort in you saying? Are you uncomfortable with the term “racist”? What is that discomfort in you saying? If you don’t understand “toxic masculinity” can you still hold compassion for those who say it is real, and validate their legitimate experience of it? Is it possible that people who want to stop using the term “toxic masculinity” or to deny its truth, actually, subconsciously, want to hold a patriarchal monopoly on what manhood means? This is how deeply embedded such structures are. Toxic structures. You get to be who you are, and share your sacred story; we are all valuable. And, we are all suffering under the structure of toxic masculinity that prevents us from doing so. Here is the paradoxical truth: Once we recognize this term for what it is truly labeling, we can see ourselves as more than any label. Naming it brakes us free from it. That is very different from what denying it does.

I don’t think immaturity and toxicity are the same. “Immature masculinity” does not fully capture what toxic masculinity does capture. As human beings, we are all on a spectrum of maturation during our lifespan, physically, and emotionally. (And some mature quicker than others…) Not all immature men exhibit toxic behavior; immature behavior is different, even if toxicity might stem from immaturity. The term “toxic” is literally defined as harmful and poisonous. That’s not the same thing as immaturity. Immaturity is a natural aspect of the human journey. Toxicity is not natural. In the masculinity realm, “toxic” is identifying what is not normal in what it means to be masculine. To pretend that toxic masculinity is better described as immaturity is to diminish and dismiss the very trauma one is trying to heal from. When we are naming toxic masculinity, we are revealing what is harmful, violent, violating, isolating and poisonous to all of us: men, women, nonbinary… to all of us as humans. No other word describes it better than toxic. I also don’t think generalizing toxicity in “any group” helps identify what is specifically unhealthy in a culture more detrimentally impacted in the dominant ideology of patriarchy- which is harming all people. It could be argued that denying or disparaging toxic masculinity is a form of toxic masculinity itself. It’s not the term that is causing harm, it’s the toxicity itself that causes harm. When will the majority of women be believed when we say toxic masculinity is real? Can a man recognize the difference between someone who may have used the term toxic masculinity in a way that hurt/shamed them, as different from the important meaning of the term itself, and how it can be used appropriately to describe very real damage? When will a mature response to its truth be received and accepted without assuming it means something derogatory toward men? When will compassion be our first response instead of defensiveness?

Perhaps it’s sort of like naming the truth of white supremacy. It doesn’t mean my identity as a white person is bad. As a white person, I can develop self awareness of embedded racism/biases within me, and recognize that it doesn’t have to take hold of me, or define me. I don’t need to take offense, and I try really hard, but sometimes fail, to not let my ego get in the way- when someone might call me out on a racist idea/action. It’s easy to get defensive. But I want them to call me out, I just hope they do it with care. And when they do, I can hold empathy, and have compassion. I can still know my worth, focus on anything that needs to be repaired, and work better toward being anti-racist. Naming racism and racist ideas, recognizing racism and white supremacy helps us become anti-racist, and teaches us how best to confront it, and understand it. This is especially critical for white people. Same goes for men in understanding the term toxic masculinity. Naming it, acknowledging it, recognizing it, is especially critical for men to do, and beneficial to themselves, and others. Men can know their worth as men, and desire to work toward dismantling toxic masculinity, healing themselves, and becoming allies for others. 

Of course we need to use care in how we use such terms in order to have transformative, fruitful conversations, and avoid shutting down connection and relationships. If I call someone a racist, they will inevitably shut down. If I call a man toxic, he will likely do the same. This doesn’t mean racism and toxic masculinity weren’t apparent, but how we talk about it, as well as how it’s being received, and to recognize it in our influences, in ourselves, and in our culture, in order to think critically about what is inundating us, cultivates growth. Perhaps it’s also about understanding the terms for what they are: adjectives, rather than thinking it’s a dagger to our sense of self. Ibram X. Kendi argues that we should think of the word, “racist” not as a pejorative, but rather a “simple, widely encompassing term of description”. I think this could apply to the term, “toxic masculinity” as well. Let’s use these terms to describe things and behaviors in a way that doesn’t shame, but rather helps us grow, but not to dismiss them, or try to water them down into softer terms, which just defeats the purpose of learning them. Being vulnerable enough to have a conversation about how racism, or toxic masculinity might be reflective of my or your behavior, or even in my, or your denial, is a seed planted, waiting to grow. As Maya Angelou said, “When we know better, we do better.” Or at least we should do better when we know better…

I agree that shame and punishment are not helpful, that’s why I think taking great care in how we address the reality of toxic masculinity matters. I do understand why some people think the term may not be helpful. There are valid points being made about that. I do think the term can be used too simplistically, or as a catch all for negative behaviors, or even mischaracterizing natural, normal masculine behaviors and traits as bad. That isn’t helpful. Masculinity, like femininity, is complex and diverse and can be expressed in multiple ways. It matters how we honor what’s specific and unique to the male and masculine experience, while being honest about what to avoid and be deeply aware (and beware) of. It matters how we raise, nurture, and honor our sons, how we show up in relationship with male partners/companions and their uniquely male experience, something I do believe needs better understanding so as not to isolate boys and men- a very real problem in our society. Author Andrew J. Bauman writes, “We must pay attention to the young undeveloped places within us, offering kindness, care, and curiosity rather than contempt and judgment. We also need more guides; men who have done the hard work to become safe, men who have ‘been there and done that.’ We need men who are both kind and strong, with genuine masculinity that is not toxic nor fragile.” I am so grateful for men who name this distinction, and who get it!

I’ve seen toxic masculinity, so pervasive in our culture, play a role in severely damaging men I love, and consequently damaging other people in their lives. It is heartbreaking. I’ve felt its pain personally from men who behaved in toxic, not just immature ways. Without naming toxic masculinity, we miss how damaging it has been proven to be. The impact of toxic masculinity is expansive, and can lead to violence against women, to isolation, and poor health in men. We’ve seen it play out in politics, institutions, and other systems. We also miss the social impact of this as systemic if we don’t acknowledge it. Violence, crime, drug and alcohol overdose, gun violence, and suicide have all been well researched and found evident from the impact of toxic masculinity specifically. It has been healing for me and others, including men, as well as for societies to name toxic masculinity for what it is, and to be able to differentiate it from one’s inherent beloved-ness (which includes masculinity itself). Toxic masculinity continues to fester when denied. 

I find it a bit ironic for men to claim they have seen the term toxic masculinity cause more harm than good, when it is indeed toxic masculinity itself that has caused tremendous harm. What is also ironic, is that some men are less likely to believe me, because I am a woman saying, “Toxic masculinity is real” even if they would deny it’s because I am a woman. This is why it is so important for all men to acknowledge toxic masculinity itself. Women and queer beloveds struggle enough with inadequacy, and breaking out of the lies that tell them/us we are not allowed to exist, to be fully ourselves, or to be heard, just to have people who are supposed to be our allies deny a reality that has had very real consequences. To name something helps diminish its power over you. Identifying toxic masculinity is not about dwelling on it, it’s about acknowledgement. Acknowledgement matters in the process of grief and healing. It is important to name and identify what ails us, and to be honest about it, even if it is hard. To deny the terms themselves only perpetuates inevitable cycles of misogyny, racism, and violence. Yes, if the term toxic masculinity is being used in way that shames you, that is toxic itself. But if it is being used appropriately, honestly, with compassion and care, to identify a very real problem, it opens a door, and doesn’t threaten the experience of maleness. To see our worth, separate from toxic masculinity’s perniciousness, is empowering, freeing, liberating, healing, and inviting. What power! How masculine! How awesome. It is the mature person who has the self awareness, critical thinking, and ability to practice ego detachment, thinking outside themselves and their group, who learns from these hard truths. It’s not easy. Nothing ever profoundly transformative is.

To deny toxic masculinity is to also deny the harm it has caused the LGTBQ+ community. Their voices should be centered in this conversation, and often they are not. One of my favorite quotes from Alok Vaid-Menon is, “Every day is Pride when you love yourself outside of toxic masculinity.” It is this truth that really clarifies why using and understanding the term matters, and is allowing people to be themselves and love themselves when they realize they can be free from it, not ignore its reality and harm. Our Queer siblings are being the most honest of all of us by being their true selves, as Alok has described, in the work toward healing. They describe how fear (perhaps fearful of naming toxic masculinity), undergirds the problem. “Men are allowed to be vulnerable. Men are allowed to be human…people have been taught to fear the very thing that will set them free…” 

To name toxic masculinity does not diminish a man’s ability to exist fully male. It does not devalue masculinity in men, in me, and in all humans. We don’t have to respond from scarcity and fear when hard truths are being revealed. Alok shares, “True freedom is going to be uncomfortable.” Your genuine masculinity is still valid even while toxic masculinity is true. To insist that the term toxic masculinity is not helpful, when its damage is clearly evident, is not coming from a place of liberation. Alok goes on to say, and this is it- this is what it comes down to, “Are you fighting for freedom, or privilege?”

“Are you fighting for freedom, or privilege?” It’s a question worth repeating.

While truths are far bigger than the labels we use, it is the human experience to use language to better understand. It’s like when people fear a label when getting a diagnosis. The diagnosis isn’t all of who that person is, and doesn’t have to define them. But it sure helps to better understand why we feel or behave the way we do. And so a dismissal of the impact of toxic masculinity, which describes it best, is a dismissal of many people’s stories, from which they are trying to scream their truth, particularly women and queer people, even though many men too, are trying to break free from what turned out to be unhealthy and constricting. A focus on healthy, positive expressions of what it means to be masculine and/or male such as developing empathy, and being emotionally intelligent and open, is something I think we can all agree is good, and desperately needed. In a powerful conversation, Songwriter Mishka Shubaly spoke bravely and humbly about his own story of toxic masculinity (he named it), and described how he healed and continues to heal from it in this way, “The way we get through this, is not by saying it doesn’t exist, but by sharing it, acknowledging it, connecting with each other because of it, communicating through it, and that’s how we get better.” Nadia Bolz-Weber responded, “We can’t ask that we don’t ever have flaws, but we can ask that when they rear their ugliness, that we learn something from it.” At the conclusion of their conversation, Nadia beautifully blessed Mishka to have a “beneficent masculinity”. Amen to that!

Spiritual Director and Pastor, Juan Carlos Huertas, in a powerful book of litany collections called, Rally: Communal Prayer for Lovers of Jesus and Justice, shared a meaningful litany called, “Kind and Compassionate Masculinity: A Litany of Dismantling Toxic Patriarchy” where he writes, “As a father of two boys, I am more cognizant of the importance of modeling a nontoxic masculinity and a non-patriarchal way of being in the world. This is complicated, but I am finding that as I center my life around the Divine, I experience a freedom like never before to be me, to be male, to be open, to be freed.” At the end of the litany he prays, “Eternal One, may your loving mercy, your steadfast love, and your compassion bring us healing. May you convict us of our idolatry of maleness and help us celebrate the unique ways through which we are called to live in the world. By the power of the Spirit, help us be faithful partners with our siblings no matter their gender, orientation, or sexual preference. Help us be respectful of one another so that we may hear others’ stories. Help us to have courage as we continue to work for a more just world, and help us model a whole way of being male in the world.”

Masculinity is adaptable. It is a social construct after all. Deconstruction and rebuilding equitable, just constructs is an important part of transformative efforts for society and people. But we cannot deconstruct what we cannot honestly name. We learn masculinity from others and in particular environments, and because of that, men can continue to learn it, and be transformed by new and healthy models. The more brave men are in owning this, the more other men can adapt, too, allowing healthy masculinity to flourish, and for others to feel safe in their presence. Falsely claiming that the term toxic masculinity is toxic itself, risks stifling such flourishing, and while it may not necessarily signal danger, it does raise a red flag. bell hooks talks about discounting the significance of what’s being named: “It suggests that the words themselves are problematic and not the system they describe.” She also explains, “The crisis facing men is not the crisis of masculinity, it is the crisis of patriarchal masculinity.” (i.e. toxic/harmful masculinity.) “Until we make this distinction clear, men will continue to fear that any critique of patriarchy represents a threat.”

Read that last sentence again.

We need to unlearn and unpack toxic masculine norms. We need to acknowledge that toxic masculinity highlights specific unhealthy forms of masculinity, as well as a particular set of social expectations that are harmful and dangerous. It shows adequately, that stereotypical masculine norms impact men’s mental and physical health, and their treatment of others. Identifying toxic masculinity is to prompt us all to teach and embrace authentic, healthy masculinity, something within which we need champions to live into and be mentors of. May we be open to learning, listening, believing others, healing, checking our egos, learning what it truly means to be strong- a true power- in all of our maleness, femaleness, queerness, etc., to name hard things, and to honor the uniqueness of each of us, bringing about justice and liberation for all people.

A few resources:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17601.The_Will_to_Change

https://andrewjbauman.com/the-good-safe-man/

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60162257-how-not-to-be-an-ss

https://youtu.be/Tq3C9R8HNUQ?si=N5o_Z2aHsY8pKlnG

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-man-enough-podcast/id1571480224?i=1000526241459

https://nadiabolzweber.com/107-mishka-shubaly/

https://www.who.int/news/item/26-09-2019-engaging-men-addressing-harmful-masculinities-to-improve-sexual-and-reproductive-health-and-rights

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50482804-rally?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=V99uL88uXq&rank=15

To Rejoice is to Practice

(The following was written and submitted for an Advent devotional collection for Calvary Baptist Church of Denver under the theme, “How Does a Weary World Rejoice?)

“…whenever you face various trials, consider it all joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance complete its work, so that you may be complete and whole, lacking in nothing.”James 1:2-4

Is it just me, or does this scripture rub you the wrong way? How should we ever consider facing trials to be joy?! And doesn’t “testing” feel manipulative? I suppose it does if we think God is doing it. But “testing” isn’t coming from some puppet master kind of god. Simply being human is a test in and of itself, with God by our side, and with joy woven throughout. 

Yet trying to find this joy in difficult times feels arduous. That’s why I love the word “rejoice”. Broken down, “re” means “to do again”. This implies that to rejoice, especially when our personal worlds and the whole world is weary, is to realize that doing so won’t negate the weariness we are experiencing, and that we are practicing something, which requires repetition. It gives us space to breathe, even if immediately afterward we find ourselves right back in the depths of despair. But this is the point- to rejoice is about endurance, as James says. And the joy James is talking about isn’t a fleeting joy we feel in circumstances of our lives that are good. It is a secure and constant joy we can glimpse in the midst of trials. It’s okay if we don’t see it or feel it all of the time, the way toxic positivity shames us to believe otherwise. True joy invites us to purposeful repetition, which is why seasons, cycles, rituals, and other healthy habits of faith are so meaningful and helpful. To re-joice allows us to brush gently, even if just for a brief, but sacred moment with the Divine, knowing each time we do, the permanence of True Joy reveals its ubiquitousness.

Musician and writer, Nick Cave describes grief as follows: “The person who is grieving is the closest they will ever be to the fundamental essence of things.” This is an awe-filled statement to ponder, and it mirrors this scripture. We are experiencing the depths of things in our despair. When we practice joy, when we rejoice, which is to re-joy, again and again, we reposition ourselves in the disorienting weariness, opening ourselves to a Holy Balm, and new awareness. Rejoicing is not some antidote to despair; it adds sweetness to the bitterness, hence the word, bittersweet! So rejoice: a practice of endurance that sustains us toward healing, justice, transformation, and peace. And as James implies, there is wholeness (and wellness) from a Source that reminds us that truly, we lack nothing. It still boggles my mind, but my heart can rejoice even so.

Prayer: Mysterious God, give us courage to seek true joy in ways that do not dismiss pain, but honor our grief and the suffering of the world, allowing such Joy to cultivate hope, every time we practice it. Amen